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  1. justacircussideshow

    justacircussideshow New Member

    So, i'm not sure how to start this, but i'm just so tired.
    I'm tired of lying awake wishing i could sleep, and im tired of waking up in an empty bed wishing I didn't. To think that i'm living an empty life in an empty house just makes me want to run away and never turn round but I don't think I can bear to turn my back on the memories.
    All things considered i know there are homeless people aching for a roof over their heads, people that don't deserve misery, people that ain't never had shit and then theres me, complaining about living in a nice house, with the nice tv, washin machine, compact disc, laptop. But whats the use of living like this with no one to share it with.
    My late girlfriend Katie passed away three months back, i know thats a pretty long time, but waking up every day and dreamin about it every night makes it as real as yesterday.
    I do blame myself, I was distracting her while driving and i guess the rest is self explanatory, I have the same image replaying over in my head everynight of twisting my neck to see my beautiful girl unresponsive and blood soaked. God knows I shouted, and screamed, I screamed to no end, and I will never forgive myself, i know it was my fault, and it will never be fair that all i got was cuts and bruises.
    To say I miss her would be a understatement, we'd been together for three years seven months, I was fuly convinced she was the one, all i feel is the dull ache that reminds me of her place. I still make her coffee every morning, I cant cook because she cooked for me, and i dont want to take that role. I still leave the straighteners on for her and turn them off because she always forgot to. I just need to know how to move on. I dont want to, but i need to.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    3 Months is not a long time hun You are still deeply grieving for your loved one
    yOu do need help to move on Please get some grief therapy for yourself okay it will help you move through the sadness to a better side. You will always have the sadness inside but you will learn to let go of the pain okay. Please know how sorry i am you lost your loved one but know she would not want this for you okay. She would want you to get help to move on She will always be with you inside your heart . Time to get some help now okay please do that for you. hugs
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Loosing a loved one is not easy..When my fiance` left me and started cheating on me I was in denial.. I cried everynight for a year.. She ripped me off for $18,000 and I overlooked that because I was in love with her..We had a joint bank account and she handled the bills.. I found out that she hadn't paid my truck payment in five months when the repo man showed up..She did all these and more things to me and I still loved her.. Then the anger moved in and I swore no one would do that to me again..So you see you will get over it in time..
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