I feel tired. My energy is depleted. I don't want to die as I actually love life, my family and the opportunities that are on offer but through my life I have benefitted others through my own initiative, strategy and work but I have never felt the benefit for myself. Now that I have chronic health issues I feel that I am not only useless but I could benefit my loved ones by not existing. I am a fighter by instinct but with dibiltating conditions and a crap financial situation I feel like a rat in a corner or at least, a deflated baloon. I am not asking for help, I am just content in relaying my emotions online to see the responses I recieve.