Tired.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DontGiveUpOnMe, Aug 14, 2012.

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  1. Before in other times. I didnt kill myself because I still wanted (a) (b) or (c) person to care about me...
    My stepfather...makes jokes about how lucky hed be if I died.
    My mother has disowned me more than a million times..
    I've runaway before and nobody cares if I get lost or anything.

    The only person who has said they care about me is my therapist.
    But I think Ive reached this place...where I dont want false hope anymore..my therapist cannot be anything more than a therapist, she cannot take me to her home...and treat me like a human being.
    I used to call the hotlines, but I want no one to talk to anymore. Its too tiring...
    I have these episodes where I dont even feel real....I feel like I am just nothing. nobody.
    Who cares if anyone cares? I dont care anymore...if they care its because they dont know how horrible I really am...they'll hate me eventually...heck if my own mother and father beat me senseless and disowned me...Im sure a stranger would do it even more easily..
    as it has been shown to me several times.

    Im just tired.
     
  2. Syn

    Syn Well-Known Member

    Hey, I don't really know what to say to make you feel better, I suck at that kind of stuff. I do know what it's like to grow up to parents who didn't really want you and nobody else around thouigh. You are something, and you are somebody, and I sincerly doubt your that horrible. I bet there is nothing you've ever said or done that would make me hate you. Some strangers may hurt you more easily, but some may help you just as easily. I know your tired, trust me I am too, but just keep holding on alright? It can take a long time but I promise things do get better, and the pain will be worth it in the end.
     
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