Title? Shit, Dunno.

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Tux, Mar 23, 2008.

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  1. Tux

    Tux Guest

    Hello. First a little on who i am, then why i came here.

    First things first.
    I am a Communist, of the Marxist-Leninist branch. I am the author of http://theworkersonline.tk . I run Linux, Program Java, and do XHTML, CSS, PHP, and Javascript. I read Stephen King, Jan Guillou, and enjoy writing short stories of my own. Most of my free time fall into either Politics, or a mixture of Hearts of Iron II: Doomsday and computers. Mostly politics lately, though it varies. Also i am 16 and live in Denmark.

    Then why i came here.
    I have been seeing a therapist for over 2 months now. His main advice has been to change how i feel, something i feel as impossible. I have over 1½ year been aware i have, so to say, pedosexual urges. I think you can imagine why this would be a problem. To add to it, i have my 7 year old sister-in-law in the room next to me. And she's hot..

    The problem in itself, however, isn't how cute she is. She does things that drive me crazy, and have no idea, but all in all, i can handle that. What i can't handle however, is a problem that has sprung up within the last 2 months. (Yes, exactly when i started seeing my therapist. This is why i see him). One night, i felt something apart from just plain arousal. This was a need to have her. This cannot be described as horniness or anything remotely near that. This was more of.. it's hard describing, but a demand. Something you'd HAVE to, like breathing or drinking water. I managed to resist it, but only just. And when i say just, i mean i was in her room. I have never felt anything like this, it was like an ambush. The next day i talked to my school vice-principal (with whom i have a good relationship) and i got an appointment with a shrink the next day. My mom doesn't know i am seeing a shrink. I haven't felt it since with the same force, but i feel it right now. It is nowhere near as strong though, but strong enough to have me seriously considering going in there, and strong enough to give me the shakes.

    The shrink instructed me to avoid thinking of her that way, and to try and direct all the positive emotions i have towards minor girls onto girls my own age. Needless to say, it doesn't work. This is the last place i have turned.

    What the fuck do i do?

    Socialist Greetings, Tux.
  2. irrelevant

    irrelevant Member

    Wow firstly well done for being so brave and honest about what you are feeling. I have so much respect for you for having that approach. I don't know what the stigma is like in Denmark (although I imagine it exists) but here in the Uk people with peadosexual urges are very much chastised and made into monsters. Very well done for not acting on any of your urges.. This probably sounds awful.. but is there any medication you could get to suppress your sexual urges a bit? I don't know.. that almost sounds inhumane and I'm not sure it exists.

    I saw this brilliant docu-drama (based on a true story) about a guy who realised he had these feelings (he was a Dad with two kids) and went to this rehabilitation centre where he did this sort of intensive course for I'm not sure how long and eventually came out of it and found a way to deal with his inclinations. He completely reconciled with his family. Unfortunately, due to the stigma here in the UK all these centres have been shut down because residents near them complained. Pretty dumb if you ask me.


    Here's a link anyway. Hope you don't find too much stigma on this site or anything. :smile:
  3. irrelevant

    irrelevant Member

    ok that wasn't the exact same programme.. but sounds pretty similar. Also perhaps seriously consider putting distance between you and your sister-in-law. I don't know how pratical that is.. but moving away or.. I don't know .. putting a lock on your door.. which might at least stall you? Ok that's a pretty rubbish suggestion but you really have a responsibility to try and put yourself in situations where possible harm to her is least likely.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 23, 2008
  4. Tux

    Tux Guest

    I have a lock. On the inside of my door. She's in the room next to mine, less than 20M's away. There is no such program in Denmark. I can't move out, I'm 16. I know i have to. But i don't know what the fuck to do!
  5. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    Welcome!!! :hug:
  6. carol2237

    carol2237 Guest

    Welcome to SF! It is good to have you :)

  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Hello Tux. I hope you are able to fiind the help you need to ensure the safety of yourself and all others involved.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to the forum :hug:
  9. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF
  10. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    Your disorder is just like any other disorder! Nobody will judge you here, we can all understand you!
  11. Tux

    Tux Guest

    This is honestly the first time i hear anybody say that. Ever. :)
  12. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    Well its the truth. I feel sorry for people with pedophilia just like a feel sorry for people with depression etc.

    I understand you. I know its hard to resist. I mean i have pretty bad depression and its not my choice, i dont want to be sad all the time...

    As long as you dont harm any child, you shouldnt be ashamed. With lot of effort it can be cured. And btw, i suffer from parafilias too, just that ones which doesnt involve people or animals.

    Wish you luck!

    Edited: Oh, and your post encourage me to speak about it... i am so gratefull you for this:)
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 25, 2008
  13. ClockworkCrow

    ClockworkCrow Active Member

    Why is Tux banned? he seemed like he really needed help.
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