I will not live through another Tuesday. A celebration. I am so tired. I cannot bear to breathe for another whole week. So it will be soon. Its not that I want to die particuarly. I just cannot bear to be alive. A doctor recommended a particular method as being effective, but I will try my way once more... some comfort in my last moments, familiarity.. maybe.. Looking forward to it with such heavy exhaustion. Cant wait for peace. Silence from all of this pain.