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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MoAnamCara, Jan 3, 2013.

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  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I'm a mess. Don't know what to do. I'm stuck. Here. Alone. Can I justify doing something somehow? Can I? Please, let me go. Please help me. I'm empty, and a waste of space. Pathetic. Selfish. Stupid. So fucking stupid. Maybe being locked up is the best thing. Maybe not being is the better thing. I don't know. I don't fucking know what to do.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Please don't harm yourself. Can you call your local crisis team? Or even if you want to vent out loud, call the samaritans?
  3. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Let me go. Help me find my way, whatever that entails. Be it the end or forward, ill take it. I'm without direction, structure, people to hug. I'm so fortunate so why the hell do I keep having these pity parties? Thoughts are there, desires and wishes. But I'm scared. To fail and to succeed. Doesn't make sense.
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It is so understandable that you feel this way...your life has been changed so drastically...and they are not pity parties...this is how you feel and you have the right to feel this way and the obligation to talk about it and get support...many hugs
  5. Vivek85

    Vivek85 Active Member

    Consider professional help. Seriously. Erase whatever inhibiting ideas you have about it and go for it, if your pain is truly intense and you feel truly alone or without other reliable resources.
  6. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Do you know what it is that is keeping you stuck in your current situation?
    But truth be told, I do not exactly know what it is that you are going through (I have never made it my wish to know unless someone is willing to tell it to me freely) but the fact remains, that from a lot of your posts, you seem to be in an unending state of depression and see no way out of it, which to me, says that you are not really doing much to try and change your mind set about getting out of it. Do not dwell on what has already happened - you will only enter the Circle, where you desperately search for a way out only to become trapped and never finding your way out. You should try not to think on all of the negatives of your life and at least give a shot at remembering a part of your past where you were the most happy and then use that memory to try and implement in your present situation, so that you can have a chance of breaking out of the Circle and begin to see the World and colours and smells around you that once gave you pleasure.
  7. anotherearthplease27

    anotherearthplease27 Well-Known Member

    nope sorry..can't and won't let you go...

    you do have a purpose and you are meant to live...know this and let it be your first stepping stone forward..please

    you are an extraordinary person..please dont give up hope
  8. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    I get the feeling that MoAnamCaro just goes ahead and ignores all of my posts, eve when trying to help them :-(
  9. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I didn’t respond yesterday because the posts upset me and I really didn’t wish to write anything while I was upset as I could say something I’d regret or which would not be too kind. And I was going to just let sleeping dogs lie, but today, after reading another post I feel I should respond…

    Firstly, I know you (you as in plural folks) are only trying to help. And for that I am very appreciative. SF is a unique site providing peer to peer support as we all try to get on with whatever we are each dealing with. And I for one am very grateful to many here for their wonderful support over the past two years.

    It is true that you (I mean you as in plural folks) don’t know what’s going on with me, just like I haven’t a clue what’s going on with 99% of folks here. That’s just a given for the most part and that’s okay.

    I have and am seeking professional help not that its anyone's business. And I have worked very hard in the last several months. So, for anyone to state “which to me, says that you are not really doing much to try and change your mind set about getting out of it” is very difficult to read. It assumes much about me, when you really don’t know. Assumptions are dangerous things.

    Finally- to see a post today “I get the feeling that MoAnamCaro just goes ahead and ignores all of my posts, eve when trying to help them” again assumes much about me. Kindly don’t do so. I stated at the beginning of this post why I was going to let sleeping dogs lie. I am very appreciative of anyone reading let alone responding to anything I have posted here, and yes I know (as was pointed out) that there have been many, many posts by me here.

    Words are words, without physical and facial expressions and without tones and inflections of voice. All I ask is that we all think about what we write, before we do. Words can be easily misinterpreted, particularly on a site such as this where many of us are fragile.

    I could have PM’d this response to anyone involved, but I don’t want things to get more uncomfortable than I feel they are. This has saddened and upset me a lot and I apologize if I have upset anyone in return, wasted anyone’s precious time, taken up too much space posting, being needy or anything else.

    Finally, I respectfully request this thread be closed. Thank you.
  10. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    thank you MOAnam for your words here.. hope things do get better ande easier for you . as you wish i am closing this thread now.. take care, Jim
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