I am feeling really crap today. I'm tired, have a headache, cold, lost, confused and irritable. Today is one year since my step-mum died, and I miss her a lot. I just want to escape, and I want everyone to leave me alone. I would go out, but I can't. So I'm stuck in doors, I may escape to my room and stay there. I just wish everyone would shut up and leave me in peace, but they won't and it's pissing me right off. I feel like crying.
It doesn't matter and I'm not expecting anyone to reply but I felt like replying, feel free to ignore. I'm in my room and have just had a huge crying session, I'm surprised with myself that I haven't self harmed yet. I guess the fact today is the day it is, I would feel ashamed if I was to do that. I looked out at the sky last night and I seen this star, right infront of me shining bright and I automatically thought it was my step-mum. I think she is there somewhere, I just wish she was here instead. There are loads of happy memories, but it hurts to think, and to know, we are not going to get any of them anymore. Heh, just typing this is making me cry I am so pathetic. It feels like the day she died all over again. She died at 9am, I was clutching her teddy and crying into it the whole day, she loved that teddy. I used to tease her to try and take it off her and she kept smiling and saying, "No, it's mine!", but now it's sitting on my shelf next to all my other teddys. I may get it down in a minute actually, feel like hugging it again. Anyway, I couldn't possibly feel any worse and I guess today can only get better, although I highly doubt it. I just want to disappear, so I may stay in my room all day.
Resistance :hug: I'm so sorry you are feeling so low..if theres anythign i can do please PM me Ill gladly listen
