I'm going to see my doctor in less than 9 hours, and I know that I won't be able to tell her anything. This was my last chance to get better, I'll never be strong enough to get a new appointment. My plan was to write everything down, but my head is empty. I know that I'll end up dead if I don't get professional help. The voices are getting stronger every day. I don't remember much of how I used to feel, but I know I miss it. I miss being able to cry without being drunk. I want to die, but only because I want the voices to stop. Tonight could have been my last, but I'm going to wait until tomorrow. Give myself one last chance to make my life worse.