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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Rukia, Jan 8, 2010.

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  1. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    The cold weather triggers me so much. It's just perfect for my plan, but a few weeks too early. I could do it tonight, without my vodka, or buy vodka tomorrow and do it then. Just tell everyone that I'm going to work and tell my boss that I can't come. My parents will notice that I don't come home, but they will never guess where I am. It's so tempting. I want it so much. But it is a bit too early. I don't know what to do. Maybe this perfect weather won't come back in the end of the month. Why bother living anymore?
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    What's wrong, why do you want to do it?
     
  3. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    I just hate living. My life is good, but I don't enjoy it.
     
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Is it possibel for you to make any changes so that you're able to enjoy some aspects of your life?
     
  5. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    I don't know. Probably. But I don't think I want to. The suicidal thoughts have taken over my life. If I only had a reason to want to fight it. I sort of have a reason, but it can go away any time now and I rather be dead before that happens.

    This probably doesn't make any sense, my head isn't with me tonight.
     
  6. Sparky55313

    Sparky55313 Well-Known Member

    I suffer bad during the winters also. The day light is so short and I am always constantly thinking death. Happiness has evaded me also but I know if I just hold out, things have to get better and I am sure they can get better for you. I find my meds help somewhat and therapy gives me a boost!
    Stay safe.
     
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