The cold weather triggers me so much. It's just perfect for my plan, but a few weeks too early. I could do it tonight, without my vodka, or buy vodka tomorrow and do it then. Just tell everyone that I'm going to work and tell my boss that I can't come. My parents will notice that I don't come home, but they will never guess where I am. It's so tempting. I want it so much. But it is a bit too early. I don't know what to do. Maybe this perfect weather won't come back in the end of the month. Why bother living anymore?