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TMS

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#1
I had a thread about this before but can't find it. I started TMS treatment two weeks ago. I've had 10 treatments, It's for treatment resistant depression and I honestly don't know how I feel. I haven't cried for a few days but don't know if it's the treatment or if I just haven't been triggered. Getting out of bed in the morning is still hard because I have nightmares and then I'm disappointed that I woke up. Meaning I didn't die in my sleep. I don't know what to think.
 
#2
It's certainly a good sign if you haven't cried. I guess if you feel even a little better it's not necessary to second-guess the reasons why.

I'm sorry you're still having nightmares though.

Maybe there are some other treatments you could try
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#3
It's certainly a good sign if you haven't cried. I guess if you feel even a little better it's not necessary to second-guess the reasons why.

I'm sorry you're still having nightmares though.

Maybe there are some other treatments you could try
Only thing left after this is ect and I refuse to do that. It's sad that I don't know if I even want to get better. I'd prefer to die.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#7
I'm close to half way I. My anxiety has decreased but I don't know if it's from the treatment or just because things are a little more level. ( ie I didn't get laid off.)My depression score has gotten worse so that is discouraging
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#8
Talked to the psychiatrist today. Apparently she never reads her intake notes. She was demeaning and argumentative. If I wasn't in the middle of treatment, I'd never go back. If she had shown herself like this prior, I would have gone elsewhere.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#9
They remapped my brain and changed the frequency. We'll see what happens. I never have to see that psychiatrist again. The tech wants me to report her but I don't see any point, at least until I've finished. I guess there have been other complaints about her. I just don't want the stress of some sort of retaliation. It's hard enough to fight this.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#12
I felt a little glimmer of relief yesterday and it was weird. Then I went to my regular doctor who has me concerned about my health and then my mom was diagnosed with cancer today. That glimmer is fading.
 

MisterBGone

Well-Known Member
#15
Sorry things have not gone better with the psychiatrist—& very sorry to hear of the news in regard your Mother (hoping they can get it treated...).

I think your psychiatrist, sounds like, or reminds me of someone who is not confident in their work / skills. . . (& generally, “competence,” breeds “confidence!”). I don’t know who doesn’t read their intake notes: (maybe she’s got a photographic memory!). . . But even if this wasn’t an issue—& it sounds like it certainly is... the way she treated you just seems wrong no matter how one might try to defend her behavior. No matter the level-

you could file a complaint (when ever this comes to an end — if you fear ‘retaliation,’ but I’m not even certain, since you’re never planing on seeing her again; what form that could even take: short of, and this is stretching—say she was part of a team of associates; or whatever their called - the price, & you went to another member who then decided to favor her word over yours (but even then I can’t imagine them not wanting to hear your side of the story) / . . & also, they exist as a business of sorts—so they don’t collectively or overall want to lose patients just from an “economic sense” sort of a background.

anyway, good luck 🍀 ! Sounds like you’ve got things at least pointed in the right direction on one front, and now it’s about tackling the other. Which may hopefully be aided or helped by the completion of the course of these treatments. . : ) best wishes!
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#18
She ( the psychiatrist) kept trying to prescribe me things that I have had adverse reactions to in the past. I really don't want medication. It doesn't work. That is why I'm trying TMS. She said 'The point of TMS isn't to get off of medication'. Well, medication doesn't work. I even had genesite tests done to test my metabolism against antidepressants. She said that I have never received medication from her as if that would make a difference. I mean, I'm allergic to penicillin. Regardless of what doctor I see, I cannot take penicillin. She seems to think she's better than all others. She asked me for my pharmacy's name and then started sending in a prescription I didn't want. She said I had complete autonomy over my body and it would be my decision whether to pick it up and take it. I told her I felt overwhelmed and that she was being combative. She pushed her lap top back, threw her arms up and said she wasn't going to call it in and I could do whatever I want. She had said since I hadn't felt better by the 15th treatment I probably wouldn't respond.

I read where a bunch of people didn't feel anything until the 4th or 5th week. After session 19 I felt a little different but now everything has gone back to grey and the nightmares are back. I'm alone and I'm scared.

She is the only doctor on staff so I guess retaliation fear would just be something with my insurance, or her saying I'm crazy or trying to commit me for not doing what she says. Idk. I'm uncomfortable.

I feel like I expend all of my energy just by going every day. The drive is longer than the treatment and it's so hot. I feel discouraged, sad, alone, and scared.
 
#19
Sorry that you're having so much trouble with the psychiatrist. I'm not sure why she would be trying to prescribe you medications that you've tried in the past that didn't work or that caused problems.

Maybe there are some other treatment methods that you'd like to try.

I hope something can help.
I feel discouraged, sad, alone, and scared
Hugs Leesa
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#20
Sorry that you're having so much trouble with the psychiatrist. I'm not sure why she would be trying to prescribe you medications that you've tried in the past that didn't work or that caused problems.

Maybe there are some other treatment methods that you'd like to try.

I hope something can help.

Hugs Leesa
Thanks. It's just I felt a twinge of something and then my mom's cancer diagnosis. So, I don't know if I was making progress and this set back is just normal human reaction or if there will really be no benefit. I'm alone and feel helpless.
 

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