Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by leviyoung2012, Aug 2, 2012.
i am killing myself
Please levi, don't do this to yourself. Love yourself instead. Why do you want to die so badly? Depression is not a death sentence, but it sure makes life a lot harder to live. Don't give up man. Life will get better eventually. :hug:
I am not sure if you saw my message on your profile wall or not. I figured you might feel the same way today as well, and you do. I am wondering if you would be willing to put yourself under a suicide watch? I am writing this, because it seems your feelings right now are so intense in the direction you mentioned, that you are bound to go through with it soon. But I can see that you want to find a way to live. I can see that you want the pain to go away. I can see a need inside you to not follow through as well...
Being alone with yourself, makes you very, very vulnerable to the thoughts in your mind and the conversations that go on there. This is not something you can battle alone, from what I can tell. You did say that you had a friend, but I gather that friend is away now... it seems you need to be monitored a bit more closely than what you have going on right now, to just keep yourself safe.
That idea may sound offensive or scary to you, but what what we discussed the other night, it seems to be a fair option to yourself to at least consider.
It's not a fair option to feel like you should not be alive because of what your mind is telling you, or because of what others say to you... it's not fair to have to believe those words. It's not fair to have to follow those words.
Those words are not even things you want, are not even your dreams, and your wants...and all the beautiful things you probably wanted for yourself and your life, and the people around you. It's fair to kick past this, and seek out others, like you are doing here... but on a more open scale.
It's fair to give yourself a chance this time. I hope that you can see that. :hug:
Obviously some piece of you is unsure and reaching for help - let us help. Listen to that part a little more carefully.
Take Care and Be Safe
Why tonight? What has happened? Please write and tell us. We're here to listen.