To a former friend.

[Sa Palomera]

M,

My therapist advised me to write this letter, but I'm not sure just yet whether I'll actually give it to you or not.

I've got so many questions towards you, but my biggest question is "why?". Why all the lies? I already knew that you lied every now and then. About your birthday, about your age, about moving out. All things I accepted. After all you're someone whose stories shouldn't always be taken too serious.
But why do you tell one person that you've got your driving license, and the other that you haven't got it?
Why say you've spent god knows how much money on something, when in reality it's way cheaper in stores?
Why tell one person you've got no clue what's happened to your parents and that you want to go to your country of birth to search for them, but tell the other they've been murdered?
Why buy loads of expensive unnecessary things and act like you've got loads of money, when in reality you're in debts and you've got bailiffs at the door for you regularly?

I already have an issue with trust, find it hard to really trust someone, but I trusted you. You were 1 of my best friends, and now it turns out that it's even questionable whether ___________ is your real name or not (Google came up with a singer from your country of birth who also happens to live in the Netherlands).
I feel deceived, betrayed, abandoned and all trust has been wiped away.
Never in my life have I been this angry and disappointed in someone.
I haven't got a clue anymore what was/is actually true about you. And that hurts.
Have you ever actually cared about me? Or was that all lies too, just like everything else in your life?

You've had a tough childhood, if all those things you've said are true, and I think that's sad, but I cannot feel sorry for you.
Or perhaps I do feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for you, because you felt all those lies were necessary. But in reality all your lies and actions cause are pain, sadness and anger.
I hope you get stuffed in your own shit, from me you don't have to expect anything anymore.

I do not regret the fun things we did together, but I do regret the fact that I ever trusted you.

Ester.

 

[Sa Palomera]

And if you put ONE finger on Mads, I'm gonna snap and lose it completely.

I thought I was just being paranoid and that it all was in my head, that I was overreacting, but if others are afraid of you hurting the cat as well.. I guess I have reason to be scared. You KNOW Mads means the world to me, and what if that letter angers you?
Would you really hurt Mads? Would you?
What if you do? She is the only creature I've got left to trust completely, she's my everything, she comes above anything and anyone else.

I cannot lose her. If you lay one finger on her....

:cry:

 

[Spearmint]

:hug: Esttt, I hope that made you feel better to get that off your chest, and if you're worried about him hurting Mads, (this is going to sound kind of awkward,) but couldn't you move all of her stuff, like litter box/food/whatever into your room until he's gone?

 

[Sa Palomera]

Thanks for the reply, Jess, it means a lot to me.

I'm keeping an eye on my cat, and thankfully the guy's moving out next week if I'm not mistaken. So things in that aspect should settle down a bit after that.

 

[gentlelady]

I hope things work out ester. I would only give him what you have written if you feel comfortable with it. Some things I think he needs to hear though. :hug:

 

[Terry]

Est got email..hang in there and will catch you as soon as possible :hug: