To all my friends in the chatroom

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by KatyKate, Nov 9, 2010.

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  1. KatyKate

    KatyKate Antiquities Friend

    :i'm sorry: :surrender:

    My one weeks ban from the chatroom is over, for being such a complete idiot and getting drunk (for the second time since subscribing to the forum), and saying things which I have no recollection of and certainly whatever I said (it must have been bad) I would not have meant.

    I would like to sincerely aplogise to those who both witnessed and bore the rantings (including the staff and administrators), alcohol messes with my head, and does nothing to ease the distress I sometimes feel, and I become a person which I do not recognise, and one which I am ashamed of being...that is not the real me. I have pledged to myself, my family, and now to you all on the forum that I will not longer be drinking alcohol, and I would like to offer some advice to those that may currently be using it as a form of self-medication: psychiatric meds, suicidal feelings & alcohol DO NOT MIX, and alcohol is most definately a depressant, and after the initial high it only makes things seem 100xs worse, and you lose who you are. Please if you can, and I know it isn't easy try to find other ways in which to ease your distress and depression, and most importantly seek is out there...but sometimes you really have to fight for it, and make your voice heard.

    As was intended, the weeks ban DID give me time to reflect, and it also gave me strength to ask for much needed help from both my old Psychotherapist (who I will now be seeing on a regular basis), and from the disability employment adviser at JobCentrePlus. I am hoping that they will support me to enable myself to move froward, and find the person that I was (i.e before the events surrounding the loss of job...began in June). I am not a bad person...but we all make mistakes when we are low/distressed and boy have I made a few just lately.

    I know it must sound strange for me to say this, but I am glad I was banned from the made me take a long hard look at myself, and gave me the realisation that I don't want to feel like this anymore, and I do want to move on...get new employment, forget the past few months, and find some happiness again...and I know that I deserve it, and owe it to myself, my family and friends to give it my best shot.

    I would like to send personal heartfelt thank you's to my dear friends Erin and Kitty who have both sent me messages of love and support sorry I haven't replied...only viewed them today....I love you both very much and have missed you terribly. :hugtackles: :arms:

    I would also like the rest of the guys who know me, and chat with me in the rooms to know that I have missed you all too, and that you have all, in your own ways helped me get through some of my darkest days, and for that I am very grateful.

    I don't know if I am ready yet to come back into chat, but I will at some point just to say hello and catch up with you all.

    Erin and Kitty...I haven't set up my webcam yet :doh: ... not done a lot really this past week apart from sort my head out and plan a way forward...but you will be the first to know when we can Skype, and I look forward to it a lot.

    Anyway there isn't really much else I can say, apart from I hope you are all doing ok, and I hope to catch up with you all VERY SOON.

    MUCH LOVE KATE :wub: :wave:
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 9, 2010
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Thank you for this and I am so glad you are taking care of's to continued success...big hugs, J
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Glad to here you have support in place for you now that is good news
  4. The Unforgiven

    The Unforgiven Well-Known Member

    wb my sweetheart!!.. missed you terribly!.. :stars::stars::hamster::hamster::sparkle::sparkle::tiger::tiger:
  5. ameretat

    ameretat Active Member

    I am so glad that you are ok... I was so worried.... I'm glad that you are back! I missed you terribly!! I love you so much :)
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