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To all Suicidal people

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Broken-hearted Ali, Mar 9, 2008.

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  1. Im not sure this post will make much of a difference here but I wanted you to see things from another person's view. Alot of you on here consider suicide probably more than once a week. Many of you feel alone and quite unloved. Please read this if the above applies to you.

    At the moment I feel like giving up, like throwing my life away and I know that I could do it in a second. Think back over your entire life and tell me if you have ever lost someone that meant the world to you, think back to how it feels. My guess is that it wasnt easy, that it probably tore you and your life apart. Many of you wont have ever recovered from it. The reason why I am asking you to think back is because that feeling that you felt when you lost that loved one is how I feel now and how people WILL feel if you take your lives.

    Im on the brink of loosing the one person who means everything to me. That person, like many of you believed they had nothing to live for, they thought that the people they would leave behind would be better off without them. Since finding them at the brink of death, let me tell you, I am not better off and neither are the other people who have kept a bedside vigil since. I havent slept in a week, I havent eaten and I am just so overwhelmed.

    Maybe its selfish to love someone so much but when that person is as special as this person is, its hard not to love them. Maybe its selfish of me to need this person so much but this person has been my rock, they have taught me so much about life and without them, my life would not be worth anything.

    To all of you who contemplate suicide, please think about those people you are leaving behind. People have been at the hospital who the person concerned hasnt seen for over 20 years but they remember her, they are here now because they care. All saying the same thing - that this person couldnt be any more loved.

    Life is a gift and it is what you make it. Bad things happen I know that BUT so do good things. Life is how you make it, if you arent happy then dont just give up - do something to change that bad into good. Think of all those people you have known, think of all the lives you have touched and dont even know it. Next time you pick up that bottle of tablets or that blade and you consider ending it, please think back to the pain you felt when you lost someone. Is it really worth putting others through that?? Instead of hurting them, open up to them and let them help you. Most of all let them love you.

    Im sorry for writing this but its something I have to say. Im sorry things are bad for you guys, I wish I could take away all the bad. Most of all I wish my mum would wake up so she can see all these people around her.
    Mods please post this
  2. no point

    no point Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope your mom gets well soon :hug:
  3. magic1

    magic1 Active Member

    Wait..this person is not your mother is she?
  4. Yeah it is why??
  5. ScouseJM

    ScouseJM Well-Known Member

    You know, I do basically agree with everything you said but.. I would LOVE to let them love me, but this is why I am here.. because he has decided that he must lock his love away and left me. Yes I do know suicide is selfish, and maybe these are now horrible things to say, maybe Im a horrible person. But its either let him be selfish and leave me unable to cope, hurtin every day being lost without him, or being selfish and ending my pain. This is my choice and as selfish as people are who want to or do actually commit suicide, I do not believe that the others are less selfish Im afraid.
  6. ScouseJM

    As an individual you have so much love to give and it sounds like this love is bursting to get out. Im sorry that it seems the one person you love is blind to your love. BUT dont let one person ruin your life. There are other people in this world who love you and who would be so grateful for the love you have to offer. I understand what you are saying too but you deserve to be happy, you deserve to be loved and I know that you can have these things.

    I didnt say that it was selfish to end your life and if it came across like that then im sorry (my heads all over the place) I just wanted people contemplating suicide to see things from the view of someone left behind. I know what its like to love someone who didnt love you back but there are people out there who do love you and who would love you just as much as you love them.

    Sorry im not making much sense xx
  7. ScouseJM

    ScouseJM Well-Known Member

    Re: ScouseJM

    you are making sense and I thank you for your post..

    Your thread didnt come across wrong at all, I thought it was great! i just havent got the optimism aymore..

    Its a bit complicated, I dont love someone who doesnt love me back.. I think it would be easier if that was the case (happened enough times in my life lol) but like I said, its complicated lol

    Thanks again for your kind words xxxx I hope people here consider your post carefully x
  8. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    I don't feel anything when I lose someone I love. That's part of the problem. I guess I just don't love that many people and those that I do, I understand why death happens and I can't stop it.

    I have considered what my death would do to the two people that would actually care and as much as I don't want to hurt them, it's not worth me staying.

    I'm sorry you had to feel pain due to someone else trying to end their life.
  9. bronwyyn

    bronwyyn Well-Known Member

    This was a good post, and I hope it helped a lot of people. I know that the one thing that has stopped me many times is what it would do to the people that love me. But right now I'm at the point of being homeless. The people that love me either can't or won't help with money. I know how they would feel if I died, but I need money for doctors and bills and rent (I can't work right now). The ones that want to give it to me don't have it and the ones that have it won't give it. It would hurt them if I died, but I can only suppose that it's not enough for them to help keep me alive. You said that people who hadn't seen your mother in 20 years were there at the hospital.... but where were they when she needed the help *before* her problems got to the point of suicide? I don't mean to offend, and I'm very very sorry if I do. It's just that that's the way I feel right now... that if I die I will hurt so many, and they say that suicide is selfish, but I think it's selfish to ask someone to keep living for you when you won't help them do it. (Again, this applies to my situation and not yours, so please don't let it upset you more. I hope you mother gets well and you and the others that love her can help her truly live. My prayers are with you and your family.)
  10. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Agreed. Very good post, and I do hope that this helps get through to ppl. Sorry you're going through this. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family :hug:
  11. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    Broken-hearted Ali -

    Before anyone preempts me, you might want to watch that kind of attitude on here.

    I say this for your protection. lol

    Saying life is a gift and it is what you make it - :nono: Preachy, preachy, preachy not to mention presumptuous. At least think twice before singing that line in our "Suicide" subforum.

    I empathize very deeply with your situation--just want you to know that many of the people driven to SF may take you to task when you're not in their shoes. (In my own naiveté I posted what they call around here a "pro-life" message, and pretty much listed the same reasons as you. But I posted in that "Suicide" forum of ours and got blasted for... guilt-tripping. Of all things. :tongue:)

    I tend to agree with you, but fair warning.

    Btw, :hug:
  12. To everyone who posted - thankyou

    To the last person who posted "To help" maybe, I ask you how you know I am not or have never been in your shoes. Ive had bad stuff happen to me in the past and I have felt like just giving it all away. I lived through nearly 2 years of depression but I got through it and I dont ask for a medal or anything because of that. I do find your post a litle hypocritical because you say about me coiming across as preaching but are you not preaching to me the "rights and wrongs" of this site????? Anyway I do not want to argue so thank you for your post and I hope life works out for you if that is what you want.

    To the rest of you: Someone mentioned about not feeling anything when they loose people. Ive been there before and Im not sure if it is the same but I didnt feel anything because I had been hurt so much I closed off my emotions and it wasnt I didnt feel anything, it was that I couldnt. I wonder if this is the same for you??

    Anyway I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your kind words and wishes. I wrote the original post because I am one of the few people who want to help keep someone alive. With regards to the people who my mum hasnt seen for 20 years not being here when she needed someone is a good point. My mum is the kind of person who "acts" fine even when she isnt. People ask her constantly if she is okay and they offer there help but she tells them she is fine and that she will bear there offer of help in mind but as you can see she really wasnt fine and she could have done with their help. Sometimes our own pride becomes in the way of accepting the help we need.

    Well I am sorry to all those people I have offended. I understand what you are saying about it being selfish to want someone to stay when that person wants to die but I guess it is pretty selfish on both parts. I hope my post made some kind of difference but I feel that maybe my presence on this site will do more harm than good so I am going to leave.

    Good luck with whatever you all decide is best for you. I hope whatever choice you make is the right one for you and I hope you all find peace.

    Love to you all
    Ali xx
  13. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    I love your post.
  14. Trident

    Trident Active Member


    I could not agree MORE with you. I wish the mods would stick this post as a constant reminder.
    Im in the same situation as you are, expect that its too late for my brother.
    I lost a friend 2 years ago to suicide, and I thought Id come over one of the worst time of my life. Wait.. I didnt see the worse was to come.
    My brother offed himself in 6 months, We never get to say that we loved him. He was instantly gone.
    over 400 ,and im not exagerating, showed for his funerals. How could he have thought he was not loved or could have not been helped remain an awful waste and a great tragedy to me. I was too suicidial myself when I was 16 until 18 and even attempted and played with my own life. So I know how it feels to feel utterly rejected, unloved, and not helped enough or well. Still I could carry on. It took so much time and eery times to get through this. Eventuallym the fear of whats behind death if theres something and the picture of myself pourring out saved me from fatal methods. I could not see past myself and my problems and feel Id be better off than stay with my aprents,friends and bro.
    Now..Seeing and feeling every bit of your soul dying when these 2 people killed themselves, and above all my brother whom I was very close to, has been swallowing me.
    My love for him has been swallowing me. I wish he would SEE AND FEEL that.
    I dont ask as well as you ve perfectly said it for a medal for recovering from depression but we are like proofs that it DOES get better.by time and acceptation it takes time.
    Now, I wish my brother would have heard, seen, felt, appreciated all the love he left behind.
    Im preparing with our friends a retreat, an happy one, to celebrate his life and our love for him. because as you ve really well said it, you never fully recover from this waste of love and how his- her life could have been for himself- herself, with himself- with herself.

    Thanks for this healing post
    And I hope your mom will recover. keep talking to her, Im not a religious person, but I do think that they can somehow feel a brink of whats left and of us.
    I wish I had this chance.
    All my thoughts and hope for recovery
  15. ScouseJM

    ScouseJM Well-Known Member


    I hope that you stay xxxxxxxxxx
  16. OpenSea

    OpenSea Guest

    This post is for Bronwynn (1st then Ali), I hope ive spelt that right. You sound like someone who needs the support of the governemnt but who isnt getting it. I too have been told many a time that I am the wrong colour to be able to receive government help. From your post it sounds like you really do have your head screwed on your shoulders and it came across that you would be a great person to start working at maybe setting up a group to help people in your position wity funding/medical bills etc. I know someone did a similar group in America and now its spread out across different states. They do things like fundraisers to help ppl with money etc and they also voice their opinions to get more or should I say better governemnt funding for people of low wage/etc. Maybe this is something you should consider.
    Just a thought.

    Anyway for Ali, Im not sure you will get this as you said you were leaving but I really hope you come back and read this. Im sorry for what you are going through, I know your heart is in the right place and I am just sorry that some of the replies you got upset you. It cant be a good feeling ontop of what you are already going through that we all hate you. I know what it feels like to be on the verge of loosing someone you love, feeling so helpless and wanting to do more. I set up a suicide support group to try and combat suicide after I lost my brother to it. I too felt the same as you that I wanted to try and change people's views especially as I feel that too many Good people get lost to suicide. Its one of those subjects that alot of people feel very strongly about and we could all argue each others case till the crows come home but neither paarties are right or wrong. I hope that you find some kind of strength at the moment. As I said it cant be easy wondering whether you are going to loose someone you truly love and feeling alone with the stress we have all just placed on you. If you feel the need, I hope you will come back and talk to us. As someone said - your heart was in the right place.
    Big hugs Ali
    Love OpenSea
  17. Robin

    Robin Guest

    Thread edited to remove posts that hijacked the OP thread. Pls keep following posts supportive as have most of the posters here already. Getting into a suicide is selfish or pro choice argument is just going to derail the OP's thread, you may continue such a discussion in the soap box, thankyou :)
  18. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    Aye no but, thank you. :blink:
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