To all the people who push foward just to please someone else.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ordep, Oct 6, 2009.

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  1. Ordep

    Ordep Well-Known Member

    I've seen many people around here saying the only reason they don't kill themselves is because they don't want to hurt this or that person because if without those person's they'd be long gone by now. That reminded me of this:

    "What's more important to you? You or the others?
    What's the importance of the others to you? What means to you that person who you met 5 minutes ago? Or the friend who you talk to every 5 months? Or even your best friend who you love? Are you sure those are all your friends?

    We're not all the same, there are people in this world who are strange, strangely strange, and put the others in front of themselves.

    It seems preety but is foolish. These persons end up dissapointing and hurting themselves, and in the process, they do the same to the ones they say to care so much about.

    Many will say this is stupid and it really must end. The most important person to ourselves must be us, not JUST the others. If we're not important for our friends, how can we be important to the others?

    Signed by frustration of a wasted day because of too much worrying about the others."

    This was written by my ex.girlfriend some time ago. It wasn't sent to me but posted as an open letter in her myspace. It was meant to hurt me and hit me because I was always ready to make what sacrifices needed to be done. All to please her and make her happy. And to what? In the end she dumped me and left me broken and obsessed with her.

    It's harsh words that somehow hurt, but she is right. We have to live for ourselves. Our reason to live cannot be someone else, it needs to be ourselves and what we enjoy in our lives. If there's nothing, we just have to find something, not someone, to make our life enjoyable.

    Maybe it's meaningless for me to post this, but I thought it might give some prespective to someone so I posted it. Sorry if it's just taking space.
     
  2. mistysautumn

    mistysautumn Well-Known Member

    I agree with you. That's why I'm going to do it - If I thought about my parents' or sisters' opinions about that, where would I get? They would put me in a hospital... And it would be even more painful because I would eventually kill myself.
     
  3. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I use to be a great people pleaser but I think real love for another is a very different thing and that what may be happening when a person says they don't want to hurt others by killing themselves.

    Being a people pleaser is service to get love. It's a very lonely place to be.

    Doing something for another without expectation of anything thing in return is service to give love. This feels a lot better. This is my goal now.

    :hug:
     
  4. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    you hit the nail on the head, if we all give whos gonna recieve? we cant be entirely selfish, nor can we be totally selfless.
     
  5. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I agree that you need to think of yourself, to think that you're worth it. BUT...if loving someone gets you through for a while, there's no wrong there...and the part that really hurts is because we expect the others to love us the same way we love them....the key is to love with no attachment...so if someone helps you make it through...by all means hold on until you can do it on your own...People change all the time, there's no wrong in holding on to someone for a little while...when you're strong enough you'll let go and do it on your own...life is full of stuff like that...
     
  6. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Agree word for word with Living In My Own World! Well said!!!
     
  7. Ordep

    Ordep Well-Known Member

    You're missing the point here, obviously it's ok to rely on someone to get your feet on the ground, I'm not saying we should all fend for ourselves. The problem is that I've seen way too many people think the only reason they have to live is that one person, that includes myself. It's ok for as long as you keep looking for something else on your life, something more stable than a social relationship. But sadly many people at some point just say "oh well, at least I have that person, I guess I can live like that..." That's when it goes wrong.

    Social relationships can be like swamps, you're not fully aware of where you're stepping. A wrong turn and you might just fall into a pit, and it'll hurt alot.

    The point I'm trying to get across is that, if there's someone in your life that you can rely on when you have nothing else, fine. But you can't by any means stop there, you need to broaden your horizons, look for more stuff to keep your interest in life because when're you're putting all your eggs in the same bag or, all your reasons to live in the same person, you're preety much gambling that the person in question will never leave you for any reason. People move, people change, people get angry, people sever connections, people die. You can't trust all your life to a single person and be happy about it, it's too risky. At best, it should always be just a phase.

    Diversify, that's the key.
     
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