to all who have "nightmares" about the past

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Summer.Rain, Feb 8, 2009.

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  1. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    I only would like to explain why you guys dream about that things
    and that its not a bad thing as you may think.
    First of all let me tell you that i am 23 y\o guy
    i was bullied a lot when i was younger and i remember very well every singel
    guy that bullied me. Now to the main part: Sometimes smetime ago i had
    dreams about those guys, usally harmless dreams (in your case it can be
    like to see the guy that harmd you from far on the street)
    Then i had sometime when i didnt thought about it at all
    and had no dreams about it, but it wasnt REALLY like i felt better about it.
    And for the past year or so i have dreams where i fight them
    at the beginning i always lost and woke up sad and scared...
    But for the past 6 months i start winning fights!
    And then i remembered something i read about the way our brain deal
    with things, appernlty we dream about things because our brain "DEAL" with them
    Today, i ALWAYS win in my dreams, which make me feel much stronger and more secured.
    So the idea is that you guys dream about it as a part of the way your
    brain deal with the memorys, dont be afraid of those memorys and
    insted of beeing a victim, start fighting, become a fighter.
    Dont think like if you are a girl then you cant fight or you are weak.
    And thats it, as easy as that, simple explanation for a complex issue.
    Hope i exlained to at least some of you, what is it going on in your head
    thanks for reading, stay strong, and have a great day :)
  2. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the suggestion:dry:.

    Please excuse the somewhat tepid reaction.
  3. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    there is no suggestion :)
    Its just an informative thread :)
    Sometimes its easyer to cope when you know what happaning
  4. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    summer, i, maybe more than others, nknow you always mean well, but again i say; think before you type hun.

    here you are compairing bullying nightmares to rape nightmares, and yes fair enough bullying is a deep traumatising thing as much as the next. but saying dont try and remove your rape nightmares would be like saying sure go back to your abuser and let them keep doing it. it is on a different level.

    and i am in no way undermining your bullying experiences, and i am happy you have found this strength in your dreams hun
  5. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    OMG sweety im NOT compairing the 2 things, but they DO work in the same way
    in our dreams, i just read it somewhere that when we dream about
    trumatic things that happaned to us, it means that our brain fights it
    and even though dreaming about rape must be much worse then about bullying
    I think it all end in the same way, we just must fight it.
  6. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    its a nice sentiment, but i really cant see it that way, and that maybe setting myself up for not being able to fight them, but its just how i feel about it. and even if i were to finally beat them in my dreams i think it would just make me feel inferior again as i couldnt do it IRL.
    but thats just me
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Thanks summer, I know you mean well, but I honestly don't think it would work.
  8. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    Are you talking about some form of lucid dreaming? Dreams can have a massive impact on your day - the good and the bad... I've had people mention it to me in a more... coherent way before, and can see why it could work for some people. I'm not sure it's for everyone though.

  9. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    Ya know imho since each trauma is so personal, each will deal differently.

    It is wonderful that you have found the strength to fight back and win against the bullying! What that shows is that you had reached a point where you could accept that it happened, and you found the strength to fight FIRST - the dreams are a reflection of what is going on already within your growth.

    The responses you are getting are also correct. Especially with rape - the nightmares are a re-living of the experience until the victim is strong enough to become a survivor that has finally realized: 1. that it did happen, 2. it was not her fault, 3. it was absolutley horrific, and 4. she is past it now. Until that point is found - the reliving is beyond description and the dreams don't get better until the healing comes from within no matter how long. What is worse - each trauma has to be "cleared". So, for example, although some of my past is better - I still suffer most nights with more - rapes that happened 41 years ago ......If only, your answer were so easy. Yet I must say I appreciate your caring and thank you for showing that there is a chance of a future free from the nightly tortures.
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