To all who think thay look bad

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Summer.Rain, Aug 23, 2008.

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  1. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    I noticed some people around here talking about the way thay look
    and how it effects them, so that thay cant find a partner or whatever.
    I just want to share my own expiriance with this "look" thing...

    Im 23 years old guy, every singel person who ever saw me said
    im looking great, i even met few guys that saw me as a threat near
    thair girlfreands and went abit aggresive with me..

    But i must say:
    1. i never considered myself as a good lookin
    2. i never had a real relations
    3. im suffering from this lonleyness in the same way you guys do

    Unfortunatley as far as i see it, the problem is not with the way we look
    but with the fact that we are unexpirianced and that is something i would like
    to talk with you guys about.
    It looks like the depressive state most of us in, is the thing that
    gives us the biggest problems, it is for me anyways.
    It effects the way we see ourselfs and others
    It effects the way we treat ourself and others
    It effects our self confidance and self esteem
    And just like you, i cant find a true love in my life and its so painfull
    that, just like you, i find it really hard to keep going.
    For me, love is the sort of thing that can force me to fight my demons
    without it im nothing and have nothing to fight for.
    And what can i do? What can we do??
  2. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    We can die alone. :(
  3. jamie20m

    jamie20m Well-Known Member

    As long as your "average" looking you have a chance of finding love. But if your ugly or deformed then you have very little chance.
  4. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    I've seen strange looking (ugly by western standards) couples whose love has lasted for decades. I've seen some couples who are magazine cover beautiful, and the marriage ends after a few short years. I really don't think that handsome men marry beautiful women alone. There are many handsome men in love with an ordinary looking woman, and beautiful women with men who will never make the pages of GQ. I've been happily married to a woman who could be called plain, but then, maybe that's how people see both of us. Looks are certainly a poor criterion for genuine relationship. I say, learn how to do the best with what you've got, and be happy with the results. That's really hard to do if you have self-esteem issues. No matter how beautiful you are, with low self-esteem, you will always look in the mirror and see minor flaws become huge. Plastic surgeons depend on people like that.
  5. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    You right, i hope many people in here will read your words
    self-esteem is the major factor in dating and relations
  6. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    I agree, self esteem is the biggest problem most of the time.
  7. Ediciussievol

    Ediciussievol Well-Known Member

    I completely agree. The looks might attract them, but once they get even a HINT of lonliness or lack of confidence, it's over. That's my experience/opinion.
  8. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    their is a differnce between not considering yourself good looking and looking in the mirror and seeing a whole wack of defects. I'm not talking about BDD where someone has one little thing wrong with them.

    Your right a average looking guy with ton's of confidence and personality will beat a out Good looking guy who has really low self esteem and is shy around women.

    But when you really do have a bunch of defects it kills your condifence on it's own, its the cause, not the effect.

    6 months ago I had a girl tell me you're ugly that's the only reason why you workout . Even then you don't even have a nice a body. This made me sorta angry but I tried not to let what others effect me, I worked harder on my body etc.. I was gaining more confidence as I looked better, I was accepting my flaws.

    Now I am having physical aches and pains all over my body, I can't even work out. My skin has gotten much worse, I've had jaw loss on one side, puffiness on the same side, from some serious physical ailment, cancer, kidney damage or who knows what?

    There's ugly and then theirs hidious..
  9. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    This is so not true
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