Im alive.. but my child is lost... I got beat up by some ass hole and he killed my child. I got surgery yesterday and in six weeks my hand will work. I'm not happy right now. Im sad, but Im not going to go out looking for attention like I always do and say Im going to kill myself. What does it matter to you guys if I die. The only thing I can really say is that I'm okay, I'll be okay and I can figure this shit out, I'll do what I need to and that'll be that. Okay enough of that shit. Im not doing too good, I'm really sad, but Im not angry anymore. I just feel empty... I feel lost and alone. Im usually angry but lately i've just been an empty shell. I dont care about anything. nothing seems worth getting mad over anymore... mostly I just sit around and do fuck all. I cant cry, I can't get mad... I just sit there and stare off into space, thinking. I havent been like this for a long time but its starting to come back again. I dont talk to anyone, and I get anxiety when I have to talk to ppl... I keep dreaming about death and ways to kill myself. I think all day long about a good way to die... Im sorry what a waist of space... I just wanted to get it out and say im here NOW.