to die will give me the rest i want

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sui caedere, Feb 22, 2009.

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  1. sui caedere

    sui caedere Well-Known Member

    Just when thinks start to go right it all go's wrong and this time in a big way.

    I am about to lose my home due to debt in total £6000. Plus work has stoped being fun.

    I dont go and see my family any more a few weeks ago my sister had her baby and i have not been to see her.

    I can not sleep any more and just feel worn out.

    So right now i feel the only way i can take away all this pain i have is to die
    Just go to sleep and not wake up again.

    The voices in my head are coming back each day getting stronger.

    The only reson i still go to work is it breaks up my day i still try to hold on to something even if it is slipping away and i know i can not hold it for much longer.

    I am now fighting each day to find resons not to die and the list is getting shorter and shorter.

    AS for now today the blade and pills are ready and waiting and i am getting closer to using them.
  2. Shiroi_Hana

    Shiroi_Hana Well-Known Member

    I can relate to how you are feeling, though I cannot say that I understand exactly what you are going through. I lost my home late last year because of my family's debts, and every day when I wake up I have to dig around in my brain for a reason not to walk into traffic. It's very hard to deal with, and I am sorry that you're going through it. I really hope that things will get better for you. I wish I could say more, but I'm not very good at cheering others up.
  3. Celebrian025

    Celebrian025 Member

    I'm not going to tell you not to do it, but I can tell you that you have half the problem already solved! you have a list, you could start knocking stuff off the list one by one, you'll be amazed how good you feel as you work your way threw it.

    You aren't alone, I'm telling you that now because I'm thinking of you!!!!!
  4. seithkein

    seithkein Well-Known Member

    I Hope things work out for you
  5. sui caedere

    sui caedere Well-Known Member

    OK so i have not been here since june last year so a lot of you will not know why i was here to start with.

    oct 2007 my wife left me to be with a women who she was seeing behind my back for 4 months.

    We was togerther for 10 years.
  6. Shiroi_Hana

    Shiroi_Hana Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear that; I can't say I know how that feels, but of course no one would be feeling particularly wonderful after something like that. But there are people here who are willing to listen to you, and don't want you to try anything to hurt yourself.
  7. xxicedragonxx

    xxicedragonxx Well-Known Member

    im going through something similar. my wife left me but she did it for a guy. then came back christmas. now she left me again but still lives with me.. hasnt been home in three days though. and whats worse, she spent all my money so now im gonna lose my apt. but i cant kick her out or be mad at her. i cant sleep either its been 48 since anything. i havent eaten in three days.

    i see that you are wiccan?
    harm none do what ye will.
    that includes yourself.
    when i get freaked i light candles and invoke the goddess. i dont know why but it always helps. it can only get so bad before it has to even out.

    its just getting through the bad that sucks.
  8. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hey. i was recently left for '''someone else''' too. .. what it made me realize, in a few weeks. .. was that i never really connected with ''him'' at all. he never really understood me or ''got'' me. .

    i still think i have a life that is worth something. and i know YOU do as well. ..
    let us help you get through this rough time. . .we all care about you. my pm box is open for you hun. . and i am always willing to listen.
    love xxx ((big hugs)))
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