To Exist or Not ?

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by Name19, Jul 7, 2008.

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  1. Name19

    Name19 Member

    I've been told I'm depressed(or showing things of) and what not and to tell you the truth I've felt like shit for the past few months I've been revising everything,every aspect of my life.

    One the hardest walls I've hit is "Belief".Faith,Science,etc.

    Because when I was a bit into my teenage years, I decided to find out my own truth(being in a religious shcool influenced this) because I found my current beliefs to be flawed or at least there origin(Bible,etc).Now I first started researching Chistian Beliefs,Fact,origins,flaws,etc.I every time I bumped into something I would go to my class and debate with my more Religious friends, and I never found myself speechless or completely voided out of a point I always "won" , will I felt proud that I could do so, but inside I always wanted to lose,to be shown that I could believe in something.After researching on that, I started looking on to other similar text(Jewish,Islamic,etc) again more bumps with unproven stories, and irrational beings.A started looking at science more seriously, the universe,evolution,etc, and even some Greek Philosophy after a bit of tad a went into more Oriental beliefs(Zen,Tao,etc) at one point a studies a bit of Witchcraft(Wicca) from a friend whose family dedicates to this belief. A found some solace in Tao personally but nothing I could call my own, nothing that Vindicated my existence.

    This still goes on today, I often find myself researching about different subjects on the matter of "Existence" of the "Meaning of Life".

    Now I feel that I have all this knowledge that is worthless, bundles of theories stock in my head, making dream making me think so much.I cant believe in an imaginary man that watches over me, or that the world simply "IS", other factors like Time,Space come into play and give me headaches.

    This is when I sometimes joke to mock myself remembering a qoute I once heard
    “When ignorance is bliss, ’tis folly to be wise.”

    How convenient is for my shcool friends believe in God,and work hard and become better people to live in blissful ignorance.

    I truly have come to envy there ability to blind themselves to other things, to be so objective with so much faith on something invisible.

    So thats basically it, I feel like a fool for wasting my time, finding meaning to my life, thinking know I would've gladly taken simplistic road that is religion when I still had my innocence when I still had my eyes closed.I probably wouldn't be suffering from this condition, I probably be doing a LOT better of with myself, I would've probably been able to develop my Martial Art, probably would' I know that would've been a happier human being.

    So has anyone ever encounter this feelings? of "To much information"? of envying someone you always thought so much superior than?

    DISCLAIMER:lol: : I mean no offense to anyone personally and I have nothing against people from different religions/beliefs of any kind.this is only my PERSONAL thoughts and questionings that I bring upon myself not any specific religion or beleifs.Also note that I "studied" this religions/beliefs for the most part I dint practice them or become a "member" of 10% of any of those mentioned.I did though strongly meditated and researched,probed,questioned and aspired each and everyone one of them.
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Questioning beliefs is not a bad thing today. I think part of the problem is that if you look deeply enough at anything, you can discount parts of it. The more knowledge you gain, the more doubt you can find as there are conflicting thoughts to everything. It is human nature to question why. That is one of the first things young children do. They go through the why stage. Remember that even as you are studying and researching things, what you find is still the opinion of someone else. Who wrote the information you found as you researched? Another person not so different from yourself. Even when it comes to the Bible and what is contained there, it was still written down my men. And in the translations from the original language things were changed as there were not words to describe the meanings in the new language. You need to develop your own belief. It may be a combination of many differing things, but that is okay. Don't be afraid to challenge yourself. If it weren't for people questioning things, we would still believe the world is flat and would be using candles for light.
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