to make sure i still can?

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by justmeonlyme, Mar 13, 2014.

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  1. justmeonlyme

    justmeonlyme Long Time SFer Staff Alumni

    im not really sure if this is going to make sense but we will see how this goes...

    so quick background... ive been self harming since i was 13 (now almost 21) but have only self harmed a handful of times over the past 2 years or so and havent done it at all in about 8 months or so and hadn't though about it much either. but idk lately particularly over the past few days or so i have felt this need to self harm not because of any real reason like things are fine like there is no reason i should feel this need to. but i have this feeling like i need to just to make sure i still can or something. i dont really understand the feeling ive never felt like this before. its not even logical like why do i need to know that i can still do it...
    was just woundering if anyone else has felt like this before... and if so what you did to get past it
  2. Nelly1921

    Nelly1921 Well-Known Member

    Im sorry justmeonlyme, no, I don't understand the need to test yourself. But I can tell you one thing, if you start, even just as a test it could start the spiral... You know, just once, well maybe then in a week and perhaps a little differently next time and all of a sudden its worse than before and more frequent.

    I wonder if the talk of SH on the SF chat is bringing this up? I could be well off, but remember to take care of yourself on SF Chat too.

    Don't start the spiral. Remember when you learnt to ride a bike or swim or read? You still can do those things, you don't need to prove it to yourself. Just like you don't need to prove you can still SH.

    Take care
    Louisa x
  3. badassunicorn

    badassunicorn Member

    I understand that feeling all too well. SH is like a security blanket that I no longer use but sometimes my brains wants to check that it still would work just in case things did go wrong. There are some great links to help you avoid the action but I find acknowledging the feeling as legitimate but not acting on it helps tremendously. When these urges get strong I usually snap a rubber band on my wrist, I find the act of wearing one reduces the urges.

    Let me know if I can help out at all.
    Hope this helps
  4. justmeonlyme

    justmeonlyme Long Time SFer Staff Alumni

    yea im at a point where im pretty good at not acting on things now its just the thoughts of it mainly but this one just sort of took me back a bit coz like logicly i new it didnt make sence but yet it still seemed like something that mad scene. idk it was just a strange thought that id not incountered before and it kinda took me back a bit
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