it aint my fault that the dogs got out again mum, ok? i locked the gate right, they just got through a hole. i would NEVER use my phone or anything else for that matter to record you and dad in a fight. as it is i already dont want to remember, and even WITHOUT the help of technology i still do. if i DID tell you what i was doing really on the phone though, you'd be even angrier at me for talking to a stranger instead of say, you. i borrowed the torch, ok? i forgot to give it back, but i didnt want you to get it, because of the fact that it was first off, under my pillow, and second off, there was a suicide note next to it that i was gonna tear up anyway - i didnt want you to read it. i dont want to or mean to put you under more stress. i understand that you're tired. i am too, you have no idea. but i'm NOT, do you hear me, NOT being evasive to be like him. to be like him is the last thing that i ever want to do.