Matthew-Firstly you, yes you. I am so sorry you are feeling the way that you are. I'm sorry that you feel like you don't deserve good things in life, but you do. You deserve happiness, you deserve love, you deserve that special someone to fall asleep with at night, in your arms. You deserve to be happy, truly happy. You don't deserve the hurt, the regret or the tears, even if you won't let people hear you cry. I hope over time you can come to terms with things in life and find peace. I would love nothing more than to give you a hug and tell you things will be okay and I mean truly okay. The past few nights Matt, we have talked alot, we have both vented and let loose what we were feeling. I am always, always here for you if you need to talk. You have my email, my msn, my home number, don't hesitate to use any of them because you are a friend that is worth the positive words I have to give you. :hug: TerryWonderful, beautiful, feisty mommy Terry. I love your kindness, your sweetness, your words of wisdom, and your knack for saying the f word endlessly with me. You are a special soul Terrs, no matter what anyone says to you. You have gotten the shit end of the stick recently in life and you don't deserve that AT ALL. You don't deserve to be treated that way. You deserve to be treated like the true precious gem that you are. And you are precious whether you believe it or not. You are even precious after a bottle of red wine...just more insanely so. :tongue: I'm sorry I haven't been so open lately with things. I'm sorry I've been so off the wall and so out of control. I want to thank you for the things you have said to me and the things you have done for me. You are a wonderful wonderful person adn don't let any asshole tell you differently because if they do Kells is coming to the UK to knock some skulls together. John-whether you believe it or not you are a very special guy, even if you won't show me your picture til 2008. Dec.31, 11:59pm of 2008 but still. You have been nothing but nice to me since we've started talking, even if you told me i have tried more flavors then ben and jerrys. :tongue: I hope in life you find true happiness, you deserve all the love and the precious things that life has to offer. You will make someone very lucky some day, because I truly believe that you have so much love to give. Stay safe in life John and I hope whatever brought you to SF will some day pass and you will be able to live life 100% happily. Jess- Upon first meeting we both disliked each other. We are two very different people. Two differnt people is an understatement, but somehow when the dust settled we became friends. You are a sweet girl and a spunky girl. You have a flair in you that I admire, a sweetness that any person should love. I am sorry you have been suffering lately, I don't know from what but I am still deeply sorry. You don't deserve the negativity in your life. You are beautiful and someday you will see that light and you will grab it and love life and live life with true happiness. Rae-You my dear are so like me with having to take the weight of raising a child that is not yours. You are a remarkable woman. You have taken your sister from a probably tragic life and are molding her into a beautiful little girl and she will become a beautiful woman just like you. I admire you in so many ways. Your love for your sister is beautiful, even though the circumstances that led you to taking care of her are grim, you still overcame it and took her with you. I hope that when you get custody of her your mom realized how badly she messed up and how much she's missed out on. I hope she someday realizes what a beautifully strong daughter she has even if you yourself don't realize it. You have always been there as a friend, even when I have whined to the point where I myself wanted to punch myself int he face, you still sat there patiently and listened. I thank you so much for that. Kurt my lil east coast pal-You,yes you. You are so talented. With your music to the love you have for your little girl. That is sheer and amazing talent. You are a wonderful daddy even if sometimes life throws you a curveball. No matter what you think, you belong here, your daughter is a better child for having you in her life. With your music Kurt, that's talent. I have always loved your songs and your knack for words. Your lyrics always somewhat tragic but still beauty. Please don't give up on that. Don't give up on your dreams in life because you deserve them all. I less than three you Kurt. Always Nirvana Spice. Mal Though you aren't here atm, I hope you are okay. I am sorry for the shit that we have been through. I know we are both at fault though sometimes I am harsh and blame you completely. It's my nature. I hope that in life we can become friends again. I hope that you can put whatever we have been through behind you and start to talk to me again. I'm sorry I have caused you such pain in life. I never ever meant to hurt you. That's the last thing i ever wanted to do. You are a beautiful person and I hope someday you can truly see that. Us, we would have never worked in the end. We both have so much hurt inside..and together we would have inevitably destroyed each other. Please take care of yourself. :hug: To anyone that I missed..I'm sorry.