I miss you so much my love, I miss your comforting arms around me. I miss your strength and courage. You kept my life in balance - you never understood my depression but you never confronted it. You were my rock and the only good thing that happened in my life. When you died of cancer I tried to die too - I survived - I wish I hadn't - I seem to survive every trauma imaginable - All I want to do is to be with you in death - our ashes will be mixed together - of that I am sure. The only sure thing I have got.