Hun, please don't do this to yourself. I went through this. I rang up the samaritans to ask if it was ok to kill my dog when i ended my life because he would pine for me. think of your dog if nothing else. yeah he/she might be looked after but it will pine badly. you owe it to your pooch to try and fight this. you owe it to yourself. talk to me if you feel down.
To my Mother
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you're not invisible, and yes you should be surprised. outlaw bikers aren't known for their sympathy. i DO care. I know how you feel. you are a sensative person the same as most others on here. the same as me. you are a worthy person, you deserve to be happy. we all do. it takes time hun. acceptance is the key. i'm being a bit hypocritical now, I still struggle to accept who i am, and what i have done. it is a struggle but it is worth it. i smile and laugh every now and then. it breaks up the shit times. you are a good person. tell yourself 10 times in the mirror when you get up and again when you go to bed. honestly, it works. believe it.
Its just the way feel, im always ignored or over looked. I give my soul and get nothing in return but a kick in the teeth.
I try to be positive, i plan to go back to university, get my own place but they constantly drag me down, im expected to give and not ask for any thing in return. Iv let it get that bad that if any one gives me any attention i start shaking and just want to run away. At work i just put up with a load of crap because i dont want people talking about me behind my back. I cant live like this any more.
I wouldnt bother replying any more. I appretiate you talking to me but it doesnt change anything. The only question is when. Either leaving my dog behind or waiting until she has gone. I will really be alone then.
Thank you for your time.
I try to be positive, i plan to go back to university, get my own place but they constantly drag me down, im expected to give and not ask for any thing in return. Iv let it get that bad that if any one gives me any attention i start shaking and just want to run away. At work i just put up with a load of crap because i dont want people talking about me behind my back. I cant live like this any more.
I wouldnt bother replying any more. I appretiate you talking to me but it doesnt change anything. The only question is when. Either leaving my dog behind or waiting until she has gone. I will really be alone then.
Thank you for your time.
please keep talking to me. it is as much for me as it is for you. i need to feel like i can make a difference. hun, i still have my exit planned. i have the optimum exit here! i can go from deciding to go for it to dead in 5 minutes. you aren't alone. please listen to me. fight it. i know life is a see you next tuesday but try. i am old, i have lived. you need to see more of it. please try. am a little drunk now hun. i still mean what i write.
I have given myself time
Christmas day, they will all be drunk and they wont even notice im gone.
If things change i will reconsider, thats the best i can do at the minute
You are a very nice person and im sorry for the way you feel, i hope you are able to stay as strong as you want me to be
It has been very nice talking to you, i hope you dont mind me sending you a PM at some point. I know you have previously said i could but i just want to make sure you are ok with that.
I need to go know, iv just realised iv been up for 24 hours.
Take care :thanks:
Christmas day, they will all be drunk and they wont even notice im gone.
If things change i will reconsider, thats the best i can do at the minute
You are a very nice person and im sorry for the way you feel, i hope you are able to stay as strong as you want me to be
It has been very nice talking to you, i hope you dont mind me sending you a PM at some point. I know you have previously said i could but i just want to make sure you are ok with that.
I need to go know, iv just realised iv been up for 24 hours.
Take care :thanks:
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