To my parents.. or well my mother mostly

[thedeafmusician]

Mother you know that i love you very dearly... and I care for you and love you a LOT... but please please please please.... can you PLEASE just be PLEASED with me for once? it seems that nothing I do ever pleases you.

And I hate it that you dump all your problems on me all the time... it gives me the impression that i'm the only person that you talk to... and I sure hope that i'm not the only person but I really get the feeling that I am now. You never talk to dad anymore if you can help it and i personally cant blame you for that... but then if you dont even talk to each other, then why the HELL are you still married? no i'm not asking for you to divorce him even though you've said so so many times... I dont know what to believe anymore on that part but what I DO know is that you both need to sort it out... and soon.

cant you please please please please please please please please just be my MOTHER for once... instead of you dong whatever it is that you're doing right now... I dont know what to call it... me being your friend? I guess you could call it that. sure I can and do listen to you when you have problems and want to vent - but it shouldnt be that way - thats what youre husband's for... or your own mother... or your friends... youre ADULT friends. I dont need you to be my friend at the moment... i just need you to be my mother... to be actually THERE for me, instead of me having to tough it out all the time... you always tell me to be strong... but i'm sick of fighting. i dont even know who or WHAT i'm fighting for anymore... its certainly not me. I figured that one out a while ago. I need you... i dont know if you figured that one out even... but I cant listen to you talking forever. and no, i dont want to be preached at either... i just want you to listen to me... even if for once... and NOT JUDGE, and NOT SAY THAT I SHOULD TRY HARDER. what the FUCK do you want me to try harder in? i have a life OUTSIDE of school too you know.

lastly... please just STOP being angry at dad, just for a little bit... the both of you need to talk to each other... have a nice good long talk, and you both need to reevaluate how things are at the moment. you're overworked... and everything about him piles up on you and so you talk about it to me and tell me not to tell anyone... and so in turn i end up bottling it until i'm about to explode and then i finally tell someone because its either that or i breakdown and lose it completely. dad just bottles until he loses it too and takes it out on you and me... and then it ends up as another fight... and you're tired all the time.. you try to hide it but i'm not a child anymore... im not as gullible as that. you need to slow down... if only a little bit and take it a little bit easier. and you really need to find someone else to confide in other than me... Im not going to turn you away... but cant you see that its tearing me? AND you and Dad need to sort this whole gigantic mess out.. I'm not doing it for either of you - I cant - and I shouldnt anyway. I'm your kid... you're meant to be my parents.

Now I've said all that, not that you're ever going to read it... could you please ACT like parents... just this once? please?


TDM

 

[Mio]

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pray for you, TDM

 

[Jess]

Hey TDM, :hug:


I'm sorry things with your mother are so hard :sad: I can relate with that sorta. I know what it's like to want your mother to stop relying on you and BE a mother. You are the kid.. she is the adult. You are supposed to rely on her.. like any child would rely on their mother.. but things don't seem to happen how they're supposed to.


I hope you can work things out with your mother and your dad even too. But until they can work things out I just want to let you know that I'm here for you and you can lean on me. Seems like your really struggling with what you wrote in this post and I'm so glad you did.

PM me anytime.. I know this hasn't been the great response but I do understand this thing and I can relate. Believe it or not lol.. Well, I have been posting about my own fucked up mother situation too. but feel free to pm me ok?

:hug: lean on us here

Take care! you're a wonderful person

 

[TTrocP]

I'm really sorry your having trouble with your parents, it's never fun. My mom has been flipping out a lot on us lately, mostly because my brother can not focus for a single second. She's been dropping F-bombs for like the past week and before she rarely swore. I hope things do turn around for you.

 

[thedeafmusician]

Thanks for the replies guys... I wasnt expecting any. I guess I just had to get that out... I was crying while I wrote that... :shy: ... but its out there now... even if I am never going to show them its out there and I feeel better for it now. Big big big :hig: s to all of ya.

TDM