I'm having another one of these moments I have where I just find every little thing wrong with me and pick at it over and over again. These happen every 2-3 days, but never led to anything more serious than crying. This time it went too far, I tried to cut myself when I was in the kitchen. Thankfully, I wasn't looking properly when I reached for the knife so I grabbed a butter knife by accident which barely scratched my skin when I attempted to cut myself. Sounds pretty silly, but it gave me enough time to realize what I just tried to do. And to be honest, it scared me, alot. The weirdest part about all this is that I know I don't have anything to complain about. While I've had to go through my fair share of high school bullying and had my heart broken a few times, I know none of it is serious. I'm able to rationalize and break it down in every way possible and it always leads back to me knowing that nothing is wrong and I just need to relax a bit. But, I still feel like if I were dead it'd be so much better. I feel abandoned, hopeless and empty and most of all I hate myself for being so weak. I don't have any serious problems, I don't necessarily have a right to complain. But I still complain and I still feel horrible and I don't know why. I never tell anyone this, not even my closest friends. They wouldn't be able to help and I don't want to place my burden on them too. I really have no idea what the hell is wrong with me.