To risk sounding hopelessly naive and idealistic...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Lady Youth, Jun 23, 2016.

  1. Lady Youth

    Lady Youth Active Member

    I've...always fantasized about someday marrying and loving the same person forever. My idea of romance isn't overly extravagant - not writing every wrong and candlelit dinners and kissing in the rain and being the perfect soulmates or anything like that, but just caring about someone and accepting them for who they are, flaws and all... That's...really it. My biggest dream in life has always been to find that.

    The thing is my circle of friends is rather cynical, and if I ever mention relationships, they tend to bombard me with insistence that love isn't real. There's the "guy who thinks he's a scientist" that assures me the notion of love was invented just to justify monogamy and offers a long spiel about why monogamy is obsolete and silly, the friend who's been broken so many times, she no longer believes in happy endings, this guy who insists no one will ever love anyone ever and wanting a marriage someday is just setting myself up for heartbreak, and a few other common breeds of cynics. I'm the only one in a group of about six friends here that insists - perhaps foolishly - that it's possible to someday have a genuinely caring marriage that lasts while my friends insist I should abandon this desire, though it's one of the things I want most, so it's really stressful...

    I just...don't know how to feel anymore. It makes me feel lonely even when I'm around them, and I don't know what to believe.

  2. Flaxney

    Flaxney Well-Known Member

    As far as I understand it, the best candidate for marriage is probably your best friend. Assuming that you are attracted to their particular gender. My experience regarding this matter is quite limited.
    Lady Youth likes this.
  3. Lady Youth

    Lady Youth Active Member

    I concur, marrying one's best friend would be lovely, but it wouldn't work in my case.

    The primary problem is that my best friend is the aforementioned "guy that thinks he's a scientist' who bashes monogamy and insists love doesn't exist.

    He's charismatic as hell and fairly smart and funny, but we're not compatible on a romantic level. Our ideals (or rather my ideals and his lack thereof) don't mesh at all.

  4. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Love is very real. I have some dear friends that are celebrating their 70th wedding anniversary today. And their love is as strong as it has ever been.
    Lady Youth and shania like this.