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To Scared

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by seb, May 9, 2010.

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  1. seb

    seb New Member

    Im 22 and I have had my ups and down for at least 6 years. It sounds long but it it's not. I have had my ups and downs. Im swedish and therefor my english might not be that correct in both spelling and grammar.
    Between the ups and downs it could be a month or even half a year. But my bad thoughts have always been there in the back of my mind/head.
    Sometime stronger sometime weaker. Sometime not at all for an along time. Sometimes more frequently.
    I do think of suicide quite often but its just a thought. And i do think of it at all times. At work, at home, when im out with friends, when im with my parents.
    I come from quite a middle class family. Been traveling around the world on varies vacations with my family. (just information). Maybe I'm more than just middle class but that doesn't really matter. Im still as unhappy.
    The reason from stopping me from taking my own life is how my parents and my younger brother feel. it will stick with them for the rest of there life's.

    I sometime want to end my life but im to scared because I know how deeply I will hurt my dad and mum and brother. How will they be able to continue there live?

    I just want to have this said. I'v been asking my mum and dad maybe once or twice for help and they have been scared/helpfull, will to talk and willing to pay for me to see someone to talk to but than it goes a week or two and i feel better. But after a month im back feeling like shit again.

    Why cant I be happy like everyone around me?!
  2. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    Hi there

    Well why dont you hold onto the thought of your parents and your brother for all its worth if thats whats stopping you. Thats a good excuse as any.

    To be fair it really doesnt matter if your working, middle or upper class, depression can hit anyone. I very much doubt that people are happy around you, there aint such a thing as perfect happiness. keep posting your problems on here if bit helps. And by the way your english is fine its probably better than mine and im emglish :)
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You need to have your meds checked try some new ones for depression maybe go to therapy longer okay don't give up there is a way out
  4. lonercarrot

    lonercarrot Well-Known Member

    Lol. People who aren't enlgish tend to focus so much on writing well that they end up with better spelling and grammar than english people.

    Anyways, I know exactly how it feels to cycle from feeling good for a short while, then feeling hopeless and suicidal. It's a vicious pattern.

    Can't you see someone to talk to for more than a few weeks? If you can't afford it, schools are supposed to have therapists available for students.
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