to stop the tears.....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by noshadow, Jul 24, 2008.

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  1. noshadow

    noshadow Well-Known Member

    It's 2am. And yessterday, to stop the crying I drank alot (I usually don't drink) and snorted pills that were unfamiliar to me. It worked to stop the crying. I'm not a regular drug user....I don't even smoke weed.

    But, I AM addicted to an anti-anxety medication, the one I intend to end my life with.

    I feel all of a sudden, afraid of the world outside of me. And I'm not sure why. I'm supposed to be this "chick rock singer" holding up fine on the stage....But, instead, I cry it out, use drugs prescribed and some unfamiliar while I am off stage. It wasn't supposed to be this way.

    I do have to admit tho, that THAT coming HERE, I find slight relief, because at least someone talks back with me and for that I am greatful.
  2. Forget It

    Forget It Member

    Try to get off the drugs. I used prozac for awhile with no success.
  3. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    drugs only create more problems.. Although I wish I just stayed at home as a hermit in my old drug world. Working out eating, playing games it was a 100x better existence then what I'm experiencing now. Drugs so much pleasure and pain.. The pain ends up winning in the end, in my case anyways
  4. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter


    I play music too. Do you have a band?

    And why do you want to stop the tears? Just let them flow. I always feel so much better when the tears are coming. I could stop them by popping a ton of pills. But then I'm just numb. And even though I haven't felt happiness in a long time, at least sadness is feeling something, and I always feel better when the tears are flowing then any other time. I treasure the times when I can feel the tears running down my cheek.
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello Noshadow,
    I know what you mean about the drugs.They help short term. Once they wear off your problems are still there waiting for you. You need to check into rehab and get off them.
    Once you have a levell head again, then you can work on your other problems. I did drugs for thirty some years. I lived for them dailey. I even ripped off some from friends when they weren't around. I am not proud of that. It is an example of what you live with if you are going to keep using.
    We are always here for you no matter what. Right now my advice is do the rehab. Please talk to your doc and let him know you are hording meds to use to commit. You know your meds only work if you take themas prescribed. You know just typing this makes me want some. I have to keep reminding myself that I am to old to be going to jail.Keep posting so we know what is happening with you!! Take Care and Stay Safe!!!:chopper:
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