To tell my boss?

Deety

SF Supporter
#1
So, I work in the health sector, and I am wondering whether I should tell my boss about recent events or not.
After an incident on NYE I made a stupid mistake due to being very emotional and ambivalent about whether I lived or died, & I wound up in the hospital for medical treatment. I was discharged the next day once I was medically cleared and after a very brief discussion with the on-call psychiatrist. During the stay I knew how to behave and what to say to ensure there were no red flags for the MH team, but I also felt quite happy due to some meds I'd taken as well.
After that and until the last few days I was feeling very low and thinking of cutting off all contact with friends etc. I am now feeling a lot more stable and better again. I just had an appointment with my psychologist, and had given permission for my GP to speak to her and vice versa. Anyway they both want me to be referred back to the MH outpatients system as they think they can't safely manage my care.
Now I am concerned that as a registered health professional, if I am back in the public health system for MH treatment it could be seen as impacting on my practice. I love my job; that and my children are what I live for. I am terrified this mistake I made is going to cause consequences that will back me into a corner.
I am not sure whether I should tell my boss what's been going on now, so that if anything happens in terms of my professional registration it's not just suddenly out of the blue, or if I should keep it to myself. When I am at work I am always professional and 100% dedicated to my job. When I was a student 18 months ago I was actively suicidal, but my job placements were the one place I felt like a normal person and they got me through a lot of the time. I only received high praise and commendations on my practice during this time, so I really don't believe my personal problems impact on the care I give.
Anyway, my boss knows I've been low at times, and my personal circumstances that have caused this, but I don't think she knows I am clinically depressed or about the suicide attempts and MH unit hospitalisation 18 months ago. I really don't want to tell her the specifics of what lead to me being in hospital this time either, as my method is quite weird.
Sorry this is long, I'm just not quite sure what to do. I think she would be supportive, but I only know of the workplace's one experience of a previous employee with MH or Drug and Alcohol problems - which was that a previous employee spiraled out of control and was coming to work drunk and the boss fired them as soon as they were legally able to. I know my situation is different as I am highly regarded for my work ethic etc, and my problem is D&A related, but still I worry.
Any advice or questions welcome, thanks for reading.
 

Deety

SF Supporter
#2
Also, I know this is irrational, but I do feel rejected by my psychologist and GP, like they just don't want to deal with me, because my risky behaviour puts them in the position of being questioned if I do end up doing something stupid again.
 

dugga

Well-Known Member
#3
Hi Deety, I also work in healthcare so I understand your dilemma. To be perfectly honest unless your state of mind has a detrimental effect on your work then it is none of their business. My workplace only became aware of my mental health issues when I complained to a director that the behaviour towards me of a manager reporting to her was impacting my condition. I am certainly not underperforming in my role so it shouldn't be used as an excuse to marginalise me or remove responsibilities. As for supporting me and my "condition" I see no evidence of this more that it gives the workplace psychopaths another weapon to use against me. There was an employee here who was pushed to resign once her mental illness was diagnosed and the email went out "blah blah has resigned to pursue other employment"... this was a total lie as I know she was hospitalised at the time. Everyone knew the circumstances so a bit of honesty wouldn't have gone astray. My thinking is that your employer should be on a need to know basis unless it directly impacts your work. That's just my opinion and your circumstances may be different to mine or maybe you're more valued in the workplace. Either way I hope it all goes well for you. Look after yourself.
 

QuantumLeap

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#4
Hello @Deety, I'm sorry to read of your recent incident.

Will it put you in a legally tenuous position if you withhold this state of affairs from your boss? What would happen if you didn't tell her and she found out during a subsequent downturn in your MH?

Hmm... it's not hard to feel rejected by the profession at times... particularly when one is depressed. However, your situation wouldn't exactly be 'mainstream' for them I guess, so they could be motivated to shunt you along if they felt they could be liable for any medical misdemeanour moving forward.

Would you consider investigating an alternative psychologist? There are tons out there...

All the best my friend. :)
 

Deety

SF Supporter
#5
Hi, thank you @dugga and @cgh0991 for your advice. I'm still unsure whether it is best to tell in my circumstance or not, but you've given me some things to ponder before I decide.
I am feeling quite distressed by the thought of going into the MH outpatient building again to see the psychologist they referred me to, the more I think about the more I think I won't be able to bring myself to walk in there. In terms of finding a different private psychologist, I could do that and it was offered to me by my current psychologist but she did think it would be difficult to find someone who would be willing to take me on :( Also, there is a financial component, as I've been paying privately and I only work part-time and run a household on my own so finances have been tight. If I were to attend the CM outpatients unit it would be free, as it would then come under the public health system. Aargh, don't know what to do about anything!
 

PhoenixFailed

Survivor of 2016, Fighter in 2017
SF Supporter
#6
I am sorry your psychologist said that. I don't think any person in any profession can truly say what others would do.

If you are in the USA, it is illegal to discriminate against you for having a mental health condition when you are still able to do your job safely. Please look into labor laws and employer policy for specifics as it might help you decide. Best wishes.
 

Walker

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#8
Hi there, it sounds like you aren't in the US because you say that if you go to group it would fall under the "public health system"... so after I asked I realized you probably aren't. I know here in the States we can't disclose MH treatment in any case like that. Your outside MH treatment wouldn't affect your work in any way in regards to it getting back to them or anything. But seeing how it sounds like you're somewhere else maybe you can tell us where and we'll see what we can scratch up based on that :):)
 

Deety

SF Supporter
#9
Hi, no not in the US, in NZ where it is illegal to discriminate too, but my professional regulatory body which governs the practice of nurses could suspend my practicing certificate if they think I am a danger to myself (or other) due to my mental state. So I am concerned even though I believe my professional ability is unaffected.
 

Deety

SF Supporter
#10
In addition we are duty bound to report other nurses if we believe there are issues with their ability to practice. So, although discrimination on the grounds of disability is illegal, I'm not much use to my workplace without a practicing certificate :/
As a student 18months ago I was suspended from being able to do my placements as I was actively suicidal, and due to two hospitalisations close together I had to prove I was stable for 3 months before I was able to go back. I guess that is where a lot of my fear comes from, everything was taken out of my control and I was under the Mental Health Act as well, so these hospitalisations were not my choice either.
 
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DrownedFishOnFire

Back into the wild where I belong. Out of your way
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#11
From a personal standpoint: keep it to yourself as its a dog eat dog world out there from my experience. People like to gossip. Who knows how many people will find out via the grapevine no matter where or which part of the world you're from. It might happen or not happen depending on how professional the person is and how well they keep it in. In my workplace no such thing as confidential matters due to the horrible bosses.

As a legal standpoint letting them know and you get fired/laid off for whatever reason your going to have a clutch to stand on to prove the discrimination did happen.

Hope you find the help you need to move foward. Take Care
 

Battlecry

Mad as a sack of ferrets!
#12
Really interesting dilemma. It's clear a few of us work in healthcare, so you have a few perspectives. And here's my disclosure - I worked specifically in the mental health sector for years before I figured it was going to compromise my own sanity. And despite supposedly being an ambassador for equality, mental health rights and respect for all, I knew I was NEVER gonna tell the companies I worked for. I would love to have believed that they would be compassionate and sympathetic - after all they work with the most vulnerable in society - but I wouldn't have trusted them not to judge and use it against me. Now that is purely my perception and I might have been pleasantly surprised, but I have always taken the risk that they'll not find out. Like you, I'm high functioning, conscientious and dedicated to any work I do. I have sufficient insight to understand my MH and if I felt that my work or others were at risk, I would not think twice about doing the right thing and disclosing. But until that day comes, it's my business and not my bosses. Hope you make whatever decision is right for you.
 

QuantumLeap

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#13
Heya @Deety... just checking in on how you have been over the past week... :)
Have you thought any more about the way forward?
Warm regards, Cody :)
 

Deety

SF Supporter
#14
Hi @Cody, yes I was planning to update but hadn't got around to it. Thank you for asking :) I have decided not to tell my boss for now. I also haven't heard back from the Community Mental Health team anyway, so obviously they aren't as concerned as my GP & psychologist. For now I'm just concentrating on work, I have way more shifts than normal this week so that is good.
Thanks everyone for your input, you all gave me something to think about to figure it out and made me feel less alone.
 

QuantumLeap

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#15
Yaay! I'm very pleased that things are coming a little clearer for you! :):)
We're all in this together... :)
 

moxman

The "Perfect Life" YouTube channel is neat
SF Supporter
#16
*hugs

Hate your going through so much.

I don't have any advice that has not already been offered above. I just wanted to reach out and let you know you were in my thoughts.
 

Deety

SF Supporter
#19
It does for now. I am upset that the community mental health team said they'd call on Monday and they still haven't though (it's after business hours Thursday here). It feels like I've been abandoned by my psychologist and have less support than ever when apparently the reason for dumping me as a client was that I'd get more help through the cmh team. Well that's not exactly working out is it lol. I'm annoyed by the lack of promised contact so now I'm even more likely not to accept their help if they ever get back to me again. Sorry for the rant, happier about the work situation but just feeling abandoned by health professionals (ironically enough).
 

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