to tell my fiance a little

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by whytryanymore, Nov 17, 2010.

  1. whytryanymore

    whytryanymore Well-Known Member

    ok this is just my speach to my fiance letting her know what i feel everyday and why i dont really care much if you reply or not i just want to get it out and this is the only place i feel safe doing such.

    beginning/ i think of suicide everyday, and if im lucky its only a few minutes or so, and if im really lucky its every other day. i know this hurts to hear and you dont understand why and my best explanation is when one grows up and for as long as they can remember hav thought of suicide or prayed every day for death its not something that i think ever goes away. the person you see me as is as new to you as it is to me i barely know who i am but what i do know is that i love you no matter what over all else forever and allways will. I know that when i am with you i am who i am i feel right like nothing can touch me. I know i will never attempt again, i may think of suicide every day but that is just part of me now i think i will allways think of suicide just not to often. I am sorry you have to hear this because i know you lost a close friend to suicide and you dont want to hear about how your fiance thinks about it everyday but i think you should so you can know more of me and soon know all of what i have done that i cannot forgive myself for. maybe one day when you are ready i will go into more detail on all of that but now is not the time. i am truly sorry that i havent told you sooner. plz forgive me for my selfishness i love you. /end

    ok so i know i need to have an ease in point on the speach and all but im just wondering mainly should i tell her all of this i mean i dont want to hurt her and im afraid i may loser her if i do. but i know it has to be done if we are to have even the slightest chance of making it. i know i wont commit or attempt ever again and i know im never going to get past my thinking of suicide and all my past issues but i know that if i do not tell her then i cannot confide in her and i need that. plus i feel she deserves to know. plz tell me if im stupid for thinking this or whatever you think on any of it if you feel the need. i still feel im going to the relationship gallows on this but here goes nothin right?
  2. lostbutnotfound

    lostbutnotfound Well-Known Member

    hiya hun

    I think that message is seriously really good. you cover the basics, dont go into much detail, which leaves her the opportunity to ask when she is ready. you are right, if you are going to really make a go of this, she needs to know this about you. foundations of any relationship are built upon honesty and trust.

    if she is as great as you say she is, you won't lose her. she will be glad to understand. she may be a bit shocked, but she will come to terms with it.

    i wish you all the best xx
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I think you are very brave and loving...both to yourself and to her...please tell her and make sure she knows that you are sharing this with her because you trust her and you want her to know the real you...big hugs