To those who are parents.

[rmtsmith]

My name if Randall and I am recently divorced from a seven year marriage. I freaked out after my ex told me she was having an affair and wanted a divorce. We have two wonderful boys together. Their ages now are 7 and 5.

For about two months I had no contact with them or her to figure things out with myself and am currently trying to enforce my visitation rights as given by the court during the divorce....it has been trying as she has been not allowing visitation. I have tried reasoning with her, and have finally started the process of taking legal action against her for contempt of court.

Why I am posting this is I have just now found out what she has been up to, to insure keeping my boys out of my life and that I am losing my mind and have even contemplated suicide.

She has brainwashed my son to say that I interacted with him sexually and forced him to watch porn when we where all living together. She has his child physiologist ready to testify to this.... she has her family, and their money, lawyers, and who else know convinced. I love my boys and never in a million years would hurt them.

I have very little money to protect myself due to the fact that I'm paying out the @$$ in child support and alimony.

I'm just in the corner....with no way out. Just being able to close my eyes and not have them open again sounds really good right now.

R

 

[Insignificant]

first off :welcome: to the forum here. i am so so sorry to hear your ex is being such a pain in the ass. i'm not sure where you live but if it's in the usa you could go through legal aid they should be able to help you. my ex did show my son a porn movie but you know what there was nothing they could do about it because he had not actually hurt my son physically. i did teach him the error of his ways though. i know you didn't do this. i would ask for her to pull the proof out. it's hard enough to go through the divorce and it's so not fair to the kids to keep them from their parent. i hope this will all work out for you in the end. please take care

 

[RySp123]

Sorry about this Randall. Isn't it possible for you to get a free lawyer to help you if you qualify on low income? Otherwise you can contact faculty univ. last year students that often offer free advice to get practice on the field sort of...? Just some thoughts.

Some people when it comes down to exclude what is in their way to free themselves will go down to extreme cruelty but that doesn't surprise me yet feel sorry for you as you are victimized a second time. Since she was unfaithful to begin with, wasn't it possible for you to use this fact to get the legal guardianship of the children? Anyway, what matters is that what you are saying risks to have deep impact on both the child and you so do not chose your eyes but do open them and adress the situation and your worries to the court and ask the court itself to order that the child be transfered to a psi chosen by the court for second opinion-evaluation and treatment should there be a need. Btw how did the child end up in therapy and why?

She can't buy the truth Randall. Do not see it as an obstacle to bring light on those issues for your sake and the child's sake...... his whole life and future are at sake here. Is your ex mentally stable? Personaly I have disgust for people using children to hurt a partner or ex partner as in hurting the partner they do not realize that they destroy a child's youth and life in the process. If there is any ground you can use to cross her or put stick in her wheels go for it....... and get the kids outta there if needed. Anything to save and protect them. That's what I''d do if I was in similar situation.

Get legal advice and act on it ...... is my recomendation.
Keep you post updated on how things will develop please.

Good Luck! and don't give up! You have two gold mine at sake! (two kids)

 

[gentlelady]

Parents that put their children in the middle do not have the best interests of the child in mind. I hate to think your ex has such little regard for the emtional health of your boys. A child needs to be allowed to associate with both parents if at all possible. I hope you are able to get things straightened out and no damage has been done to the children, although that is highly unlikely given the scenario. My heart goes out to you. The road ahead will not be an easy one, but your children are worth the fight. :hug:

 

[jryan3434]

I know a couple of fathers who have gone through similar issues, and I don't think there is anything worse a man can experience.

Do you have any proof of her infidelity? Try to get her on tape essentially admitting to you that the sexual abuse is a bunch of lies. Get her emotional so that she will lash out and say something that will damn her in a court, and make sure you carry a recorder with you, and attached to your phone at all times. If you can catch her in a lie regarding any of her accusations, it will go a long way in discrediting her in court. Do you have any mutual female friends that would be willing to side with you without her knowledge? If so get one of them to talk to her (recording the conversation of course) and see if she can get her to admit something. Barring that, you need a good lawyer. Get a loan, put the house up as collateral, do whatever it takes. Otherwise your kids will be raised by this witch and they will be brainwashed by her to hate you. If that happens, hopefully one day they will be old enough to recognize what she is, and what she has done.