To Those Who Feel Let Down With Life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by winston, Jun 24, 2007.

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  1. winston

    winston Well-Known Member

    One question-why?

    I mean, think about it.Why end it all?Why feel that you are the only one in the world feeling the same feelings, hurting to your inner core, and feeling life is but an endless series of depression?

    Use your brain, and think about it.Think about the hell that you'll create for others, as well as knowing you didn't make the most of what you were given.Think about what you'll miss, as well as what those left behind will miss.

    Yes, life can be cruel at times, but for fuck sake friends, make the most of what is now, and leave death to what is unexpected.Write some words on a page, write a novel, draw a picture of what's on your mind, throw on some goddamn music!

    I'm 18, and the thought of others of my age ending their lives because of their families or relationship problems hurts me to take in.So what if families aren't loving?Yes, it's tough, but are families everything?Of course they are not.The human being is well capable of managing on their own, and you are too.

    Relationship problems-Yes, hard to take in, but times move on, people change, feelings diminish and outlooks take on different ways.The end of a relationship is not the end of the world, and you know it full well.The sands of time, change the aspects of our lives.

    Everything isn't doom.What you are feeling now isn't ever-lasting.It's only everlasting if you decide that you are to end it all.Everyone has it within themselves to get over the most darkening of times, and so can you.think, and you will will see, and I think you really know, deep down, don't you?

    Kurt Cobain once sang 'I miss the comfort in being sad', and I feel sad reading the goodbyes of those who feel let down with life, and feel it must be ended.

    I can assure you that I can help, if you just give me a chance.I can supply you with the words, the music, and the books you need to help you through the darkest of ages, but please, please promise that you'll challenge yourself that bit further, walk that extra mile, and find yourself within that despair.

    I salute you all for your honesty, and look forward to the future.For every corner brings new lease of life, and we, as young people, should take as many corners as we can.We owe to ourselves, and those who are around us.

    Much love to you at this time, and let your shine reign on!

    All the best

  2. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    your simple question is why?// well let me tell you why

    for me . it has always been a battle. i have let my heart to love and trust so many times that every single time i open up my heart i get hurt. I have even gotten to the point of not trusting anyone. so why??

    If you had been through what i had been through all my 35 years upon this earth then you would know why. if you had edured that pain you would know why. i was to the point that i could trust no one but then i met a christian couple who told me they loved me and i let my heart go and i trusted them only because i asked them why? why do you love me and they said because God requires it or something like that, but then like i always do i did or said something wrong and i drove them away like i always do.

    they loved me and they left me, just like everyone does. they all love me for a little while then leave because they can not understand the pain i feel. because they can not understand the love that i need to feel because i am different. it is too much for them that they think of me as being obsessive which i am not. i just need love and care and then it is often times tooken as an attention getter. that all i want is attention, well if that is what it truly is and if that is what i am then there is no good reason to be here if i can not feel love by anyone.

    i feel like Jesus did. i feel the loneleness he felt when he was put on that cross. i feel that this world has left me to die alone and i am crusified with christ everytime someone says or does something to hurt me rather it be emotionally or not. i am in pain and that pain will not go away until i take the steps to stop it which is why i am here. not to stop me but to let others know why i did it and maybe let those that hurt me emotionally and those that loved me then just walked out of my life see where they caused me this much pain and for them to remember it and not do to someone else what they did to me. maybe just maybe my passing and my words will continue on and help stop them from hurting others again. i am in and have been in intense emotional pain and there is no light at the end for me but death.
  3. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    The starting post of this thread just angers me... you can't possibly know all these things about people, and you don't, because your claims are often wrong. Some people will never be able to "move on." People also react differently to problems; all will not even want to "move on." It's arrogant making these assumptions.

    I'm not going to bother explaining why... you can check my old posts, if you really want to, although I haven't made all that many, yet.

    I feel even more suicidal, after reading this.
  4. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    you know i agree with you.

    i am just in so much emotional pain and it is really bothering me especially today. especially with what my brother said to me today. i simply asked him if he could come charge my battery for me because i had left the dang dimmer light inside on for forgetting to close the door all the way and you know what he said. his exact words were to me . the conversation went like this

    me " hey can you come give me a boost on my car ? "

    chris " what ? why ? "

    me " well i accidently left my door open and the battery run down and i really need it charged so i can ggo get a few things from the store and maybe stop in at church > "

    chris " well , if you had not doner that then the battery would not be dead. why call me? call someone else maybe someone from church. you would not babysit for me so why should i go and help you. you are just stupid and i really do not care. you kept me from parting the other night. bye "

    and then he hung up . now to someone else that may not seem mean and cold hearted but to me who basically has no one it hurts and then reading this makes it hurt more.

    i am sorry i just got to get offline. the tears are so much and this emotional pain is so much hurting.
  5. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Winston,first I need to ask you one thing do you honestly know what it's like to feel depressed?and next of all everyone here is trying their utmost best to feel better,otherwise they wouldn't be here.Do they like feeling the way they do?Of course not.It seem's you think it's easier said than done,let me tell you if it was we'd have no one feeling depressed,suicidal etc.

    I can understand where you're coming from,but I have to tell you simply if thing's were that easy for everyone to snap out of then they would simply in an instant second.It doesn't come down to simple so called will power,to those who don't understand depression and never have suffered it that's what they see and luckily for them they haven't had to experience this horryfying sickness.

    People do their utmost better to improve their lives,nothing is as easy as flicking that light switch let me tell you.I've had Bi Polar,Ocd and bdd for most of my life and I don't think you have either of those for e.g.So simply I can't see how you can just assume that people are not making enough of an effort with their lives,especially if you don't walk in their shoes.
  6. -Deception-

    -Deception- Well-Known Member


    When you've concluded that there basically is no purpose or meaning in this world, when the only things you can see is perpetual desolation, famine, religious/political strife and conflict, when you hate your body so much it makes you cringe when looking into the mirror, when you realize you want to live alone in celibacy but still have that human instinct to desire other humans...

    To "move on" from all this is not as easy as you, who've probably never experienced such thougts, seem to imply.

    Yes, I'm young, just one year older than you are. But does my age matter? If I'm convinced that this life is not for me, am I less justified to end my life than, say, a 40 yr old? I guess your answer is "Well, you've got your entire life ahead of you", but my only response to that is: when choosing between a serene death or a life of internal agony where I constantly have to wear a "happy face" to the outside world, I will without doubt choose the former.

  7. These two paragraphs bother me the most from what you wrote -

    I'm 18, and the thought of others of my age ending their lives because of their families or relationship problems hurts me to take in.So what if families aren't loving?Yes, it's tough, but are families everything?Of course they are not.The human being is well capable of managing on their own, and you are too.

    Relationship problems-Yes, hard to take in, but times move on, people change, feelings diminish and outlooks take on different ways.The end of a relationship is not the end of the world, and you know it full well.The sands of time, change the aspects of our lives.

    My response -

    Anyways, Families ought to be loving. Especially parents. It pisses me off when parents mistreat their children. If two adults cannot lovingly and properly take care of their children, then the adults shouldn't be having children.

    Not every human being is well capable of managing on their own. There are people with disabilities and other issues who rely on their families/society for support. Without that support, alot of people would be lost. Many people who don't have that support, are lost. Many of those lost, become suicidal.

    Relationship problems which exist, should be resolved within a short amount of time during the beginning stages of the relationship. If they aren't resolved, then it is understandable for breakups to occur, even if painful - for a temporary amount of time. However, if people are in long-term relationships, it is wrong if one of the people decides to leave the relationship because of a feeling/outlook change that person has. A long-term relationship usually means committment, and it is understandable why a person would be suicidal if their lover left them because of a feeling/outlook change.
  8. winston

    winston Well-Known Member

    Firstly, Cheers for replying.

    Yes, you've been let down on countless occasions, but there are good people put there, you've been unlucky.You're 35, right?And because of the hurt you've experienced through life, you feel the need to end it?To be quite honest, I feel that's both saddening and, to a certain degree, quite ridiculous.

    Is it a confidence factor with you?You can't trust anyone you say, but there's endless amounts of good people out there.You got with a christian couple?Surely you must have known that in doing so, problems were going to occur?

    You say you are different, but in what sense, may i ask?Heck, we're all a little different to the next person!Yes, you do need love, and it's there to be found, but not if you give up searching.

    You say you are here to help others, but if you do what you are saying you're going to do, you'll do nothing but influence others to follow your path, which is a desperate shame in this day and age.

    There's all kinds of help out there, if you just trust and be confident about it!Ending your life isn't the answer to it at all.Look all those who are actually dying, and would love to have a second chance, do you really want to do this?

    Please don't.

    Angers you how?

    I do, in fact, know quite a bit about people.I've seen enough hurt in my own life to know what people can go through.I've seen a friend lose his mother through suicide but a few short months ago, leaving behind children and a husband.I've seen my grandfather suffer in a hospital bed for months slowing deteriorating with each passing day until his reached his end, and I see those around me blanketed by loneliness and willingness to give up.

    How do you know some people will never be able to move on?Those who feel that way end their lives without knowing if they could move on.Look at the countless amount of people who've gone through what all you are going through, and have come out and battled and finally found some form of satisfaction in life?

    You feel even more suicidal after reading my post?you feel even more suicidal about the anonymous musings of someone typing at their keyboard?C'mon, let's be real here, I'm trying to help, and you say this has worsened your willingness to live?think about it.:smile:

    All the best


    Hi there, White Dove

    Firstly, I applaud your honesty in telling us of your hard times.The way in which your brother acted was incredibly mean, and shouldn't be tolerated.Have you told him how you're feeling?have you poured your heart out to him?Would he understand the sadness that you feel inundated with?If not, then do so soon, it might just change everything.If you have, and he didn't wanna know, then perhaps it best not to contact him for a while, and see how he reacts.If he comes to you, you'll know there's love.If not, then perhaps no contact will be for the best.

    I sincerely hope that somehow, someway, you can find satisfaction in life.Never give up trying.You owe it yourself, and I hope you realise this.

    All the best


    Hi, cheers for your honest reply.

    I do realise that releasing yourself from such depression in life can be deemed an impossible task, but my concern is with those who simply feel the need t give up, rather than battling on and trying, in some way, to find some form of satisfaction?

    In all honesty, the thought of suicide appalls me.It's not the way out, and I do hope people can find it within themselves to realise this?

    Have I ever been depressed?Hmmm, has anyone ver not been depressed at some stage in their life.Obviously I haven't found myself locked within the realms of spiraling depression like some have on here, but when I have seen fist hand those affected by suicide, or in fact those affected by natural death, I feel obliged to ask questions, and wonder why, you see?

    With respect, I don't anyone is justified to end their lives, regardless of what age they are.You're 19, and feel that the rest of your life will be internal agony, if you decide to carry on?In fairness, there's plenty options out there for people our age.I don't know what has made you sad, and I hope that you can one day find happiness, but do not be so fast to condemn life as en eternal struggle that is best off not living.#

    Think about it.

    All the best


    Hi, and thanks for replying.

    I have no problem in you picking parts of my post to condemn, and I welcome it.:smile:

    Firstly, I totally agree with you in regards to the care that should be locked within families.We need them to guide us, and love us, but problems are always going to exist within family-life. Is killing yourself the best way to solve such problems?Of course not.

    Of course people will feel lost, and we all do at some point in life, but there is always support out there.Some people are simply not confident enough to use it, but they shouldn't be afraid.Of course, it's nerve-racking and a totally frightening experience to have to go through, but if there's even a slight possibility that happiness can come of it, then it is a road that has to be taken.

    yes, I fully accept that people will become suicidal due to hurt within relationships, but again, there's help for such problems.Do people really want to die, knowing how they felt when they ended it all, or do people want to somehow, someway, reach for the light that they know is there.

    People have to realise that ending your life is not a plausible way of ending problems, and the only they can be ended, is if you keep going until they are gone.

    I thank you all for your replies, and I hope that somehow I have helped someone out there.

    All the best, and much love!

  9. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    Hi all

    I can see things from both peoples points of view. I feel like I've been through the best and worst life has to offer.

    I think everyone is being a little harsh on winston. Of course he doesnt know what each and every one of us has been through, but I believe that noone ever really knows how the next person feels. It's good to see a bit of positivity around here, its what alot of people need and i think that rather than disagreeing, we should embrace his admirable outlook on life. I know that when ur feeling down, sometimes the last thing u want to hear is someone harping on about how fantastic life can really be, but these positive emotions r a reality for alot of people. Just because u havent been happy for 1 month, 1 year or 50 years, doesnt mean there isnt hope. It's incredibly hard to find, but it is there for every single one of us...all we have to do is find the key that unlocks that door.

    On the other hand, another part of me says that winston sees the world in perfect way, and way that it is not. From memory, 1 in 5 people will suffer from depression. If there were a cure, nobody would have to suffer, but there isnt so we have to fight through. It's not as easy as waking up and finding a purpose again, it takes time, patience and a hell of alot of courage to rise above all the negitivity that can capture us.

    I guess I'm at a strange point right now, I feel like I'm coming out of the really rough time but I still see so much pain and anxiety ahead. I enjoyed reading this post and hearing everybodies throughts on a subject that is so close to us all.

    Take care everyone! I know it hard, beyond hard, but there has to be a way to get through this...there HAS to be, lets find that way!

    All my love

    Shauna xoxo
  10. winston

    winston Well-Known Member

    Shauna, thanks for that, but i can whole-heartedly assure you that I do not view the world in a perfect way.I spend most of my life in doors, usually on my own, usually on the internet talking to people I don't even know.

    I find comfort in music and football.Without them, I'd be in a bad state.the world pisses me off like everybody else.


  11. i dont really know what im doing on this site but im hoping someone can help me. i read this original post and it just stunned me that people look at people like me who are in so much pain and distress and just wonder why i cant get over it. its not that easy, i cant just move on. i just got out of a relationship i had no intention of ending with someone i loved more than i even knew i was capable of and amazes me that people just stare at me crying and say "its ok just move on". he was such a huge part of my life, he was my best friend and my favorite person in the world. what happened? or better yet, why does stuff like this happen? its not fair, i loved him, he says he loves me then why? why cant good things just stay good. because now i feel so empty and so hollow and so incredibly alone that i have no reason to go on. i cant laugh, i cant sleep, i cant watch tv, i can barely eat, and everything reminds me of him or how happy we used to be. so tell me what other choice do i have?
  12. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    dancing,first of all I'd like to state what you're going through seem's to be quite normal and that I hope you aren't blaming yourself.I also know if you could stop feeling so low you would like that,what I can suggest is that you give yourself time because it may take a little while.I see that you're hurting so bad,it's not your fault I know you're in pain and I do understand.
  13. winston

    winston Well-Known Member

    Dancing-Firstly, thanks for taking time to read my thread.

    I have a lot of sympathy for you at this time, and can fathom somewhat what you are going through, and I don't think anyone is trying to insinuate that you can get over it quickly.You can't, and most likely won't fully get over it, but take comfort that others are in your position too.

    Is such an occurrence really a plausible excuse to end your life?Do you just wanna give up everything that happens in life?Do you really believe all is doom for years to come?

    Death isn't the answer.You'll only end on a note of leaving in your current state, which is more depressing than anything that life can offer.

    Please, there is help out there, there are people with good in their hearts!


    All the best,

  14. -Deception-

    -Deception- Well-Known Member

    How am I not justified to end that which only I can experience? The sorrow I feel when I look myself in the mirror, when I hate love, when I think about humanity, when I try to understand why we're all here... No one else feels that sorrow but me, so tell me how am I not justified in saying to myself: you suffer as long as you want to suffer. Seeing as I did not ask to be born into this hideous world and be a part of this so-called "mankind" I think I have every right to resign and fall dead to the ground whenever I want to.

    Suicide can be a definitive solution to a temporary problem, yes. But if you're so utterly dejected that you can't see any light at the end of the tunnel, when every day grows darker than the day before that day, when all you feel is a cold, numb indifference eating away at every positive feeling you've ever had, and when you finally start to love that apathy, the icy cold feeling of indifference - how can it then be seen as a temporary problem?
  15. possessednomad

    possessednomad Well-Known Member


    Because i go through practically every word that everyone says to me, trying to remember them. and i go through most letters to try and group them into other groups. they have to be right. or i get annoyed, and it hurts and makes me feel depressed the entire day.

    the classic ocd thing - bad feelings, like negative feelings about wanting to hurt someone etc even though you dont. try thinking about how you could push someone in front of a train or molest a kid or something fucking foul like that or emotionally hurt a friend or something or whatever and in reality you just think whoa wtf thats nasty as hell but your mind focuses on it just because its possible. you never do it or even consider it, but its in your mind for the next few hours, tormenting you.

    now imagine that every day. most of the time. and medicine doesnt really work.

    that's why...
  16. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    This is in response to winston (post 8). I cannot seem to quote, while posting on my mobile.

    It angers me because you generalise.

    You may have experienced a lot, but your experiences have not lead to a sufficient capability to understand people since, as said, you generalise. As an example, a scientific study has, in fact, proven that one in three that have been sexually abused, cannot "move on" with their lives. I will not link to the study; I read it years ago. However, scientific studies should not even be necessary, for one to be able to understand that people react differently to different things; common sense should be enough.

    Yes, it makes me feel suicidal, having to argue about stupid things, I should not have to argue about. I have enough negativity in my life, already; there's not enough of my energy to add that to it all. I am always delicately positioned a small bit away from a mental breakdown.

    It does appear you are trying to help, and naturally, I do not condemn you for that... but you obviously need more training.
  17. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    let me tell you something winston.

    i have attempted my life on 3 seperate times. the first two i did not really want to end it and took very little to do me in. with the first attempt i just took a few. the second attempt i took a little more and i did it in a christian driveway. i knew they would be home and i knew they would help me if i needed them to and that they would bring me back. with the second attempt i wanted their attention. i wanted to know if i was loved. they did not call an abulance that night they just invited me into their home to rest on their couch. really i did not think they cared much at all cause i did take enough to do some damage to myself.

    well on the third attempt i really wanted to die so i took a lot but after taking them i chickened out and backed out and called someone and told her what i did and she called police and i got rescued ( if you want to call it that ) well at that third attempt i left my body and i seen some things that i will never forget. i came out of my body. there was no pain and i had an unbelievable sence of peace when i did that. there was no more pain. none whatsoever and after me having a taste of that afterllife with no pain . i want it back. i want no pain.

    others have caused me so much lately. and i am sorry that you have your opinion on things well i have mine also. i am at the end. their is no hope for me now. you say find someone else well let me tell you that is not easy to do cause i had lost it. i had lost my trust not just one or two times but time upon time i have lost trust with others. like a child who crys wolf. you can only do it so many times and when i trusted them ( the minister and his wife ) and they left me without a care as to my feelings or what it would do to me. it broke something inside me that can never be fixed. not with anyone. when they did that to me my life ended.

    i have nothing else to give. i have no more trust to even trust one person for fear i will get hurt. so yah i opened up my heart to trusting someone i thought would always be there for me. yep i hurt them also but i have tried many times over and over again to just get them to forgive me just once but they still ignore me. it is like an unpartanble sin that i did to them, which according to god it isnt cause bible says forgive not just 7 but 70 x 70 well i have said what i needed to and i do not know if you or anyone else here feels the way i feel or understands my pain but that is fine with me if you do or not do but to me the it is the only way.
  18. winston

    winston Well-Known Member

    Firstly, Deception

    Of course anyone has the right to do so, but people have got to realise that there is indeed light, somewhere.If you really believe there is, then there will be.There are methods of soltuion, people in your state are out there, and are being cured each and every day, for the darkness that you are feeling at this time.

    If would speak to me-either via pm, private chat or exchanging of msns, i can promise you that you can trust me, and I'll do all in my heart to help you out at this time.





    I can only imagine what you are going through, but are you really willing to let your demons beat to til you can't carry on?

    When such feelings enter your head, look into your heart, and ask yourself what is more real.The heart can defeat the head in times of despair, well, at least i think it can.

    Also, I applaud your honest in telling me such things,It is a sign of your strength.




    Hae gi-Hi there

    Please belive me, I'm not in any way trying to generalisem, and if i have come across that way, I apologise from the bottom of my heart.

    I respect your survey knowledge, and the like, and it saddens me-honestly.

    I just hope ye all, can find some way of carrying on this life you have been given, to somehow find some light, deep within the tunnel you are in.

    Training?I haven't had any.I'm 18, and just feel the need to help those who feel like giving up, and I hope I can.I don't mean to offend.


  19. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    i agree with how you are feeling so much so that you would not even believe it.

    the two people who ever showed me any bit of love - and i mean real true love - just walked out of my life. believe it or not they just up and left without any regards as to what it would do to me. what it would do to my heart. what it would do to me emotionally. so i can fully relate to you.

    i am so hurt right now. so alone and they had no right to do me that way. i was alone. i was unloved and they stepped in and made me feel like i was a part of something and it felt good to be loved but when they just move away without any contact. without a phone call even just to say hi. it hurts. and it hurts deep because they were my world. they were like my mom and dad and it is like i have lost them to a death.

    that is part of why i am taking steps to end my life cause without them. i have nothing. so hum i know how you feel cause i can relate to it.
  20. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    My comment on training was figuratively meant. Your wish to help people is commendable, but sometimes, a wish to help can just make things worse, if you do not understand the various ways in which people can be affected by a situation. I'm not trying to offend you in any way; this is just very important to declare, since people, generally, won't understand the depth of depression.
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