To You

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by MoAnamCara, Jul 30, 2012.

  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I'm an attention *****. Hate that phrase but may as well call it as I see it.

    I thank, sincerely, so many of you here. It and you have been a comfort since I joined.

    I think I'm going to stop my meds. We'll see then if they really do anything maybe. Im just so tired of pushing and trying and falling and failing and over and over and over.

    It is nothing anyone has done or hasn't done, I need some of you to know that, and you'll know who you are. Im sorry I couldn't be who you wanted and needed me to be. I've said many times that I would end up hurting people and im sure I have, its just my innate stupidity and fear and lack of trust and all those types of wonderful things.

    it is just me. :(

    Im not sure what I do now. Im dreading what's coming up in a couple of weeks. Am dreading this coming week. Im sad that those who knew p haven't been in touch, have or are moving. Its like others I have lost that no one knew. Its hard. Its a tough few weeks with various dates etc anyhow. Im upset with those who assume or think I should be over the death. Over the multiple deaths in them last few years. Instead, one has reignited the thoughts of the others etc. I am genuinely alone. No confidant, no soulmate.

    Again, it is me, this is me. And I am sorry.

    I don't think I can do any of this for too much longer.
  2. triedtoomanytimes

    triedtoomanytimes Well-Known Member

    'I don't think I can do any of this for too much longer. '

    I hope you do, though any choice will be yours.

  3. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    OMG MO..OO..OO PLEASE NO.OO.OO!!!! :arms: :hug:
    OMW who said you should be over her death??? Have they ever experienced loss themselves?
    If not no wonder... Mo it takes time &even then out of the blue it hits you like a ton of bricks... oops tears
    Mo we care... I care... I am sorry I am only a cyber friend but I care as much as if I was there... if I was nearer I kick your door in and drag you to do yourfavourite things... get you drunk help you forget for a while...
    I am so very sorry I have been such a shit friend I have had my head so far up
    I would go with you to the Dr to get you meds that work!!! They arent working Mo seriously you deserve better... please dont give up?? Stay talk to me or someone else if you like... its not your fault its the Drs & the meds.. anyone going through what youre going through woulf struggle please dont isolate?? please???
  4. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    I would not recommend to stop taking your medications without seeking advisement from your doctor, for, among other reasons, the possibility of getting sick from such a move. And then there is the trouble of discovering, as you suggest, the effectiveness of the drugs themselves (hate to find out the hard way!). This would particularly be a bad time to try to do it, in my opinion, given that you've got such an important stretch of dates ahead of you in the upcoming weeks. Also, it sounds as though you are suffering from some great, recent loses, and so that may be taking its toll. In any case, do what you can to avoid an impulsive decision rooted in emotion. And don't let your condition--whether it be anxiety or depression or anything else--cloud your judgement with negative self thoughts. Take Care.
  5. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Ditsy... You have not been a shit friend, far from it. :hug: thank you for caring. Its just prolly better I stay in the shadows a while.

    And thank you triedtoomanytimes & misterbgone. I appreciate your words and thoughts.

    Its just me, ok? I tried to explain some things because I don't wish to cause others worry or hurt. I know I will and I am sorry. Please, no need for any responses. Thank you again. I'll be ok. Take good care of yourselves. You all are worth it so very much. Give yourselves that compassion you have shown me .

  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    MO!! please do not stop your meds without supervision and new ones on the horizon!
    I did that after my loss and it just caused me to be even sicker and more problems..
    you are going through some tough grief and I don't think isolating is good for you..
    no one seems to really understand just how much loss of a loved one affects you unless they''ve been there them selves..
    I know people aren't there when we need them, but that's to do with them, their problem, and not personally about you..

    with 'dates' coming up I reckon you need to stay here with us so you hav some support..
    I would miss you so much if you have been very caring and supportive to so many here..we lovs ya..:console:
  7. 41021

    41021 Banned Member


    it does that to you too?

    one reignites thougths/images of others?