today i am dealing with...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by scaryforest, Sep 3, 2014.

  1. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    same friend i posted threads of here months ago. and she was jealous and controlling. and an online friend. in canada
    only one whom i have been able to keep in touch with regularly and idk why that was.
    i guess i really love/d her. anyway

    she told me she od'ed in may. i was not at my best either but she says i am the reason for her attempt and i have ruined her. she told me i am an ugly pervert, a liar and i should die today.
    she use to stress at me about my past relationships but never used such strongs words, like these.
    i am broken and utterly floored and in shock

    i rang her mother. while the mother was talking to her the friend kept bombarding me with texts she was gonna pop pills. and waiting for death and similar,
    i rang the mother again, she said it is all lies. and best for us is to keep away from each other.
    i am so torn, i don't know wtf
    and idk how i will pay this phone bill but that is least of worries
    the mother use to hate me and rant but today she sounded so calm and was supportive. idk where else to confide this, i do not talk to people i live with day to day basis cause just can't
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 3, 2014
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am really sorry this has happened to you. Sadly there are many that either use attempts and self harm as emotional blackmail or that simply lie about it for some reason. It is why we enforce anonymity on here (even though many think it is wrong to ) and why we really recommend peopel keep their relationships formed on here ON HERE until they know th epeopel very very well and not gfor just a month or two. While it may seem like a long time - a few hours of messages a day in an internet site really does nto tell you much about a person and there have been more than a few of these type of things that happen by attention seeking trolls. FWIW - I suspect mom was honest and the kid is being a child and making it all up- and you would be better off putting it down as life lesson learned and stop interacting with them in any way. I once was really really concerned and called help for somebody when they said they were alone and had OD'd and were bleeding badly and claimed they could no longer get help for themselves. I got call back from emergency services an hour later for wasting their time as they were having dinner with family and to top it off they then claimed i had ruined their lives (even then I had only called because said wanted help but could not get it any more on their own).

    NOBODY makes somebody else suicide or self harm - not even the actual truly abusive people - it is a choice to do that an individual makes all on there own. They can claim no choice but is pure crap - and anybody that says somebody made them do it is lying, self delusional, or both. Anytime somebody here or in real life starts to emotionally black mail you with those type of claims STOP TALKING TO THEM. You an doyur mental health are far too important to risk on somebody else which even if is not lying is too selfish and self involved to have any regard for your health and well being.

    This is peer to peer support- not a crisis center- if people are claiming those things tell them to get a crisis center on the phone and offer to call emergency services- if they decline then leave them alone and protect yourself. 90 % of the time it is at the least a great exaggeration. Even if it is not you cannot help them and by talking to them and continuing you are preventing them from, reaching out to somebody that actually can help them. As soon as it goes from "I am thinking about" to " I am doing" it ios time for you to step back and leave it to the professionals.

    I am so sorry this happened and apologize for taking the opportunity of your post to talk to any that read this. You are a great caring person and deserve better. I am sorry you were misused and please keep these tips in mind for the future and consider keeping your interactions with people from here confined to on here where there is moderation and the ability to check some of these stories that sometimes occur.

    Take Care

    - Ben

    *** edit looking back I see it is a longer term online relationship and not even from here- sadly all the advice still holds true- Take care of yourself and I am sorry the Internets knack for helping people lie has hurt you.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 3, 2014
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I wouldn't talk to that person anymore, I mean it sounds like she has more problems than you can deal with, and you shouldn't have to. She has her mom and her other friend to help her out, and I'm sure you don't need the extra stress. Even if you were friends in the past, it doesn't matter now because you don't need to put up with anyone treating you that way. I speak from a lot of personal experience of people just treating me horribly, and I put up with it because I'm a caring and loyal friend, or I just thought I deserved it, don't really know the answer but you only deserve friends who will treat you with kindness and respect.
     
  4. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    hi, ben.
    thank you for these words. idk what to say right now
    we had some good times with her obv too and were so so close at one point. she said i could tell her everything ever, so i took it face value and did. she was disturbed by it and stopped believing i loved her and digressed from there.
    she was not from this forum tho she joined at one point but does not come here and won't anymore, i do not think, has not for ages and you have valid points about people on forum and how fast can get attached and misread.
    idk if am making sense, i cannot sleep and am being picked up for lunch and to go to someone's, and i will have to look ok and it is impossible.

    i met this person on tumblr and wrote a fanfic for her which she fell inlove with, and we had similar sense of humour and wow intimacy and all the stuff... i kept thinking i can help her, i can fix it but i can't, it kills inside
    and i cannot talk to her ever again!

    again, thank you for taking time to respond, idk, hope things are ok with you, we don't really talk
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 3, 2014
  5. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    hello, witty.
    thanks also. she use to sit eight hours nearly every day and diss my exes and then it just escalated to dissing me and wow.
    sorry to hear you have had to deal with similar, idk what to say, just thank you for some kind uplifting words at this crippling time for me
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 3, 2014
  6. bananas

    bananas Member

    i did take pills but sort of survived and i am on suicide watch and this is not a lie. my mother does want you to stay away from me, but i ache for you to speak to me again
    i was very, very, very upset as you know and drinking. i didnt mean a single word of what i said.
    i am also torn apart and in shock over my own madness. i care immensely for you. please write to me and we can sort this out.
    you know the kind of things we have said to each other when under the influence. but we never really mean them, they just come out
    please, write back to me
     
  7. bananas

    bananas Member

    i feel so ashamed but i truly care for you
    i even have proof i did od:/
    but i am here and i take full responsibility for my actions. you said you felt like you wer at home with me, and i agree. despite our many issues and fights, and you also having said many awful things to me in anger in the past i dont want this to end. it was the most im
     
  8. bananas

    bananas Member

    oops. it was the most important relationship of my life, and you know i will stop blaming you and cursing when i am angry. i dont believe any of what comes out because it is uncontrollable irrationality. but i will listen to you. i just sincerely dont want this to end this way. its so hurtful:/
     
  9. bananas

    bananas Member

    ive been a terrible peson and friend to you and i feel humiliation, shame, and regret
    but i truly realize my mistake and feel extreme remorse.
    i cant think, i cant sleep, i cant do anything
    i want our friendship back. i dont want to lose you
    i promise to be more understanding
    please do not takw those irrational words of anger to heart; you know things we have said when angry and drunk
    we dont mean them. its just frustration
    anyway i am extremely sorry and i apologize to you publicly
    this friendship meant the world to me and still means the world. i love you and i do promise to never say such things again and to be a good friend, like one you actually deserve.
     
  10. bananas

    bananas Member

    oh my god im realizing what a bad thing i have done, ruining this friendship
    guys how is it gonna get better if scary doesnt wanna have Nything
    to do with me? oh god