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Today is hard

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by liveinhope, Oct 5, 2008.

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  1. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    I am feeling so low today filled with so many emotions but mainly just wanting to sit in a corner alone and cry for ever, today is proving to be a struggle and its only mid-day had my visit from the mental health team and they said distract myself but thats just not possible today i just feel so alone so vulnerable so low why does this terrible condition ruin so many lives its doesnt just take ours it effects all those we care about and love i want to just run and not face all this happened and i cant do that either the emotional build up within is so strong i cant even put it into words i just feel so terrible today sorry to go on

  2. see

    see Well-Known Member

    :hug: you know where to find me :hug: you not alone :flowers:
  3. ~Tosh~

    ~Tosh~ Forum Buddy

    :hug: Hunni remember that while you are here and breathing you will never be alone! You have friends here that will help you through these tough days.. and im alwaya around, im just a PM Away..

    I may not understand what exactly is making you feel this way, but i sometimes feel the same. Sometimes i know that a good cry can make thisng feel a little better..


    Hope things get better
  4. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    if it is what you need to recollect yourself and pull youself up, isolate yourself in you bedroom and close the door. i know too well these feelings. you need time to youself to overcome them. i wish you to feel better soon, love you hun.

    granny xox :hug:
  5. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    hi dawn

    :hug: remember you have ppl here who care about you. You have Jo who wants nothing but the best for you as we all do. Write write write how you are feeling even if you have to write all day long. Take a nice long hot bath..light candles..take a walk..do whatever it takes to distract yourself..watch a funny movie. Above all..know ppl care and love you.

    Love yourself..look in the mirror and say..I love you dawn..ppl love you dawn..don't forget that Dawn.

  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    The first few weeks you are home is always the hardest. You are thrown back into the same places that things felt so overwhelming about to begin with. You are no longer in a totally safe environment. You are right, it does affect everyone. You have all of us pulling for you. Do not crawl in that corner and be alone. This gives you time to wander alone in your mind. Seek out company if possible. Call friends, whatever it takes. Just stay safe. :hug:
  7. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    :blub::blub::blub::nerves::badday: ?????????????????sighhhhhhhh
  8. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please Dawn, try your best to hang in there. Jo and everyone here are hoping that you will get better after everything that has happened. Please don't give up. :hug:
  9. patacake

    patacake Well-Known Member

    I know today is hard my dear friend , I have just returned from the afternoon with u and I can see the fear , sadness and emptiness in ur eyes . :cry: I wish i could make all that go away so that u could have a chance to heal , I will be there hun , throughout the next stage of the darkness , u have been traumatised dont forget that , u have been through a terrible ordeal never mind all the ordeals that have brought u here in the first place .

    My friend have a listen to our special friendship song , u know its true and its a good song for many here that feel alone to listen to also , sometimes knowing ppl care doesnt make u want or need to stay but theres always the hope that it might .

    :wub: u my bestest bud :hug: always


    jo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 5, 2008
  10. patacake

    patacake Well-Known Member

    One more thing hun , I forgot to say

    I need u my friend sooooooooooooooooooooo much in my life :arms:

    :cry: lets fight this now hun , im ready to go into battle if u are .

    There are two lost souls in this friendship lets hold on and help each other find the way back :smile::smile::smile::smile::smile:


    Jo x
  11. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    I think people here thought i would be the same coming back from the hospital the same me that was able to hide the turmoil and wear that ever famious mask, but im not the same i cant fight it anymore im not that person anymore and they cant cope with that , why should they? :sad:
  12. patacake

    patacake Well-Known Member

    Ill cope hun , with whoever u can or cannot be for however long :hug: , u never need ur mask when im around u know that , i never wear mine with u .
    Everyone needs it off after something like what u have been through , how can u possibly pretend hun ? I absolutely understand that u cant and u mustnt , the only way forward hun is honesty about how bad u are feeling and time and love , i hope there is enough of it all to help.


    Jo xxxxxx
  13. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    Dawn you don't need to hide it hun. Be who you need to be to help you through. Of course you aren't the same. You went through a tough ordeal and are still recovering. We are here for you. :hug: Lean on us anytime you need to.
  14. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    thank you , all of you hug
  15. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Dawn the first couple of weeks home are the hardest. Not only because of what we think people are going to expect of us but what we are expecting of ourselves. Then it changes to what we want others to do or stop doing for us. And the whole time you are fighting through new feelings that you dont necessarily like having. No one expects you to be the same. You arent the same emotionally or physically as to the perosn you were before the hospital. So please hun, just take it easy right now. No one here can expect anything more of you than what you are capable of doing and handling right now. And we all want you to get rest and get the help you finally found. You are just as special to me today as you were yesterday and always will be. Please Dawn, you say you arent capable but look at you.... still worrying about others. No matter what has or will happen no one is ever going to change the fact that you have a huge generous heart and love because of it and are also loved because of it. Jo is right there for you and many many others are here for you. When you need the hugs and kisses you know where to find them. And when you need the quiet Dawn time you are more than welcome to it hun because you know Sf is like your second home and you will always be welcomed here with open arms!!!
  16. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    I have many friends here who have shown care and support and im very grateful to you all ty hun for the lovely mesage
    hugs to you all xxx
  17. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Dawn, you thank all those who show their caring but I thank you for still being here with us, with me. I don't know what i'd do without you and I thank the person who's saved you from yourself in such a hardship. stay well and be safe is all i ask, want and need of you. i'm always here to listen to you when needed even in hardship times. love you to bits Dawn.

    granny xox
  18. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    Dawn and Patacake :hug:

    Are you feeling any better today? I know how hard it must be, having come from the safety of the hospital back into the main walk of life.
    In the hospital it's like having a break from everything, you don't have to worry about shopping, filling up the car, walking the dog or any other little everyday things. Also there is no option of harming yourself ether and when your put back into the world all the temptation floods in at once.

    You really can't go back to that really bad place hun, you have too many people here for you now. I hope your getting good support from the community mental health team too, this is a vital part of your recovery.
  19. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Just dropping a line to say I hope you are feeling a little better today both you Dawn and Jo. Baby steps hun, always baby steps and just keep holding on to all the hands you need to along the way. Love ya both.
  20. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Thank you both tin women you are so right in whast you say and yes one problemis all those options come flooding back and it is hard to manage those thoughts i feel im on another planet went their 3 weeks or so ago and cant seem to reach earth, itma thanks hun you are always there to i dont know how im going to get back to any kind of normality but i dont really have any desire to right now the fight has gone i dont have anything left to fight with :sad:
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