greetings from CT/SA - I'm a don't fit in, lost as all hell, mental health hybrid nightmare that just broke the box and all the rules in the DSM - I'm Mia and Perry and Annie and Olive and Cat and Deb and Sue and a great big fluffy polar bear and my personality constantly crosses the borderline - the inner kids play within days that are Eeyore and Tiger shaped - I belong nowhere and just sometimes, an arbitrary day chosen by fickleness, just sometimes you get to re-boot your internal processors, your hard drive of x-rated porn experiences. No-one is letting you press the delete button, why should they allow it, allow you to live pain free. It’s not allowed. But they do allow you, just once, to make a u-turn in that cul-de-sac alley and let you shuffle out, if you remember how. if you are lion enough to stroll past the junkie needles, yesterday’s coffee highs, tragedies painted in an achingly raw black and white, the stench of hopeless, kicking through broken bottles like your mind. no-one cares and if they do you've already slashed through their faces so that their souls hang out. Their love touch burns like acid through your skin and pools and decays in the depths below the sewer line. inhaling the stench of alonenes you kick down and smash the sandcastles you built with such childish enthusiasm. You rip skin from bone to release the torment. Your mind a receptacle of fire ant chaos. today is not a day for love. today is a barbed wire present bulging with the lost, the tormented, the amputated, the wind strewn debris swept along the paving stones chiseled out of the coagulated, petrified remains of your resolve. Today is not a day for re-booting or for cul-de-sacs. today is not a day for love.