I am writing this through tears. It might not make a lot of sense. Please bear with me. I can't take life any more. My friends have been distant lately. Been fighting with my parents who are my reason for still being alive. Too much is going wrong at the same time. I am on medication. They just feel like they are not working today. Especially today. Weird. I am not afraid of killing myself. What I am afraid of is doing something stupid "thinking" it might kill me then ending up worse than I am now. Being a vegetable or something horrible like that. So, I can NOT get "stupid" and do something that doesn't work and regretting it like crazy. My stupid ass bday is this month (18th). I think it is pathetic that I am still here at this age. I am such a loser!