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Today is worse than most for some reason

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by twistedwhispers, Nov 10, 2013.

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  1. twistedwhispers

    twistedwhispers Member & Antiquities Friend

    I am writing this through tears. It might not make a lot of sense. Please bear with me.
    I can't take life any more. My friends have been distant lately. Been fighting with my parents who
    are my reason for still being alive. Too much is going wrong at the same time. I am on medication.
    They just feel like they are not working today. Especially today. Weird.

    I am not afraid of killing myself. What I am afraid of is doing something stupid "thinking" it might kill
    me then ending up worse than I am now. Being a vegetable or something horrible like that. So, I can
    NOT get "stupid" and do something that doesn't work and regretting it like crazy.

    My stupid ass bday is this month (18th). I think it is pathetic that I am still here at this age.
    I am such a loser!
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun you are not a loser ok you have a illness that is it ok Depression is such a hard one to beat but with help you can. I am sorry your parents are fighting hun it must be so upsetting to hear them hugs to you
  3. BlackKitty

    BlackKitty Active Member

    That was how I felt yesterday. I just wanted to get it over with and end it all. Hang in there, and know that you aren't alone.
  4. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    Twistedwhispers, I've been crying a lot lately. There's nothing wrong with crying because it's an outlet for pain. I have tried so many times to kill myself but never succeeded. However, I don't ever want to make the wrong move, OD, or something, and wind up alive in a vegetative state or have an organ shutdown that I will regret for the rest of my life. Hang in there and think about the repercussions if you do try to do something. I'm battling my demons everyday and I'm glad I've made it through all these times. I wish you a safe, but happy birthday.
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