today was awful

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by sadcat, Aug 14, 2012.

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  1. sadcat

    sadcat Well-Known Member

    Had a very bad day today....

    First I spent hours setting up an appointment to interview for some radiation treatments.

    Then I received a breathing mask in the mail from a supplier. But I had not even agreed to use that mask type. Now I shall have to wait til they get a replacement mask for me to trade back the one i received. That took more hours . And the filters and hoses they sent were all wrong too. Is there no end to this torture.

    I had spent so much time I was too late for a face to face support session. I really needed that support. I have not been well for a while and have not been able to get there for 3 months now. And the last time I was there - i freaked out at everyone - from effects of my medicines. Still have been unable to soften that any.

    By 3 Pm I was shaking from exhaustion and anger from all that had to be taken care of.

    At that point i really needed to call a crysis center, but I was too afraid that it would squash any chance of getting radiation help. I took out a klonopin (for nerves) and was going to take some. But I had to go to pick a friend from work soon - so that was not possible. Now I am feeling a really bad headache.

    today was awful
  2. letmedisappear

    letmedisappear Well-Known Member

    I'm really sorry that you had a bad day... I did too, if it's any comfort.

    But I really really hope tomorrow will be better, for both me and you :)
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Just checking in to see how you are doing now
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm really sorry you had a bad day, and I hope tomorrow's better. We're always here to offer you some support, or even a place to vent, when you need to. Here if you ever need anything.
  5. sadcat

    sadcat Well-Known Member


    I want to thank you all - Letmedisappear, Sadeyes, and Wildcherry.
    Your feedback means a lot.
    Do not know what I would do without it.

    Big Hugs
  6. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Sending lots of hugs back to you! :arms:
  7. sadcat

    sadcat Well-Known Member

    Cutting my efforts back -
    cancelled the appointment with the radiation oncologist.
    Will tough it out til my symptoms get much worse.
  8. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    How're you doing now? :hug:
  9. sadcat

    sadcat Well-Known Member

    Had a good day today. I passed an echocardiogram the other day.
    That was amazing. My heart was very badly damaged many years ago.
    And i had been told I could not survive and that it could not heal.
    But yesterday the echo showed that is is healed and back to a
    very very low normal function level.
    That is amazing.

    I had formerly fought off major conditions of asthma, COPD, emphysema and bronchitis .
    My pulmo was astonded to see that I was controlling those conditions so well.
    However i did have an asthma atack during february and march of this year -
    it took nearly two months to fight that off.
    and I had to go to the ER for some help at the end of february.

    But today I am worrying about my other problems - cancer, spinal stenosis, apnea.
    And considering going into a hospice setting - am in serious pain, and
    doubt that the cancer can be slowed down much longer.
    it can no longer be cured
    Even the thought of that is making me very depressed.
    And I have been sitting here crying for hours.

    I was going to launch a major battle against my cancer with the radiation.
    but I am much too weak right now. I have used up all of my strength
    fighting the heart failure I was in for so long - 5 years.
    I had so much difficulty , that i am right now barely able to stand up.
    and I had to use a cane all day to get around.

    I have launched a new battle with some herbal remedies to fight the cancer.
    and they are also draining my strength.

    Thank you for asking.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 22, 2012
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