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Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by MoAnamCara, Sep 19, 2013.

  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    So I find out some work person is doing that two faced shit again. Give me a break. It's like any weakness and I'm pounced on. If they can all do a better job, then why aren't they proving that atm? I swear, I hate people like this. Grow a pair and talk to me face to face.

    Rough few days, triggers and anniversary dates. Much anxiety. Negative coping. T today, I sat speechless. I'm such a fucking waste of space. Why bother going? What is that going to achieve? Increased feelings of stupidity?

    And leaving I was so fuzzy, not driving right etc. stupid me. Stupid fucking me for all of this shit, it's all self imposed anyhow. I could have stopped things, should have known better, run away etc. etc. all these things I could have done, but did I? Hell no. I wanted to be wanted, cared for and all of that bs. Never again will that happen, I've had my go and now she is gone too.

    And, anyway, who cares? Really?

    I'm tired, tired and wishing for the impossible and the improbable. But perhaps Ill grow a set myself and do something about it this time.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I care. :hug:
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I know how you're feeling, especially with the upcoming anniversaries...I have a few next week and it's hard to cope with now. I've had it really rough, mentally and physically, and it can be difficult when no one seems to understand what you're going through. If you need someone to talk to, you can message me anytime.
  4. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thanks to you both... Feels good just to be acknowledged.

    And witty, the same goes for you... :hug:'s to you both.
  5. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I'm tired. I don't know how to do this long term. I feel so alone. Each day goes by and its just me. Thoughts & memories take control of my days. regrets and sadness and all of that stuff. Then its the repercussions of those thoughts and memories. And on it goes. Day in and day out. Disgusted at my own lack of control over my mind. And my body and things I do and things I've done and so on. I'm sorry, I'm in this place again. Again. Again. Again. I'm tired of it. I wish I could and would end it.