So I find out some work person is doing that two faced shit again. Give me a break. It's like any weakness and I'm pounced on. If they can all do a better job, then why aren't they proving that atm? I swear, I hate people like this. Grow a pair and talk to me face to face. Rough few days, triggers and anniversary dates. Much anxiety. Negative coping. T today, I sat speechless. I'm such a fucking waste of space. Why bother going? What is that going to achieve? Increased feelings of stupidity? And leaving I was so fuzzy, not driving right etc. stupid me. Stupid fucking me for all of this shit, it's all self imposed anyhow. I could have stopped things, should have known better, run away etc. etc. all these things I could have done, but did I? Hell no. I wanted to be wanted, cared for and all of that bs. Never again will that happen, I've had my go and now she is gone too. And, anyway, who cares? Really? I'm tired, tired and wishing for the impossible and the improbable. But perhaps Ill grow a set myself and do something about it this time.