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Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by cult logic, May 27, 2009.

  1. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Things that happened today have left me really confused. :sad:

    I now have questions about myself I don't know the answers to. Or how to find said answers.

    I would elaborate more but it's kind of hard to talk about this stuff on a public forum.

    God I'm fucking confused.
  2. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Bi, straight or gay, you should do whatever makes you happy as long as you don't hurt anyone else physically (do the best you can emotionally) or spill any secrets. I know it's more confusing than that, but still, I think you get where I'm coming from. That's what I told my 1st cousin (when she was about 20) and nephew (when he was 16). All they had to do was work out the issues with their families. They are happy! Cousin married with a daughter (her partner carried the baby), nephew cautious, he's only 17 now.

    I hope I'm not out of line here with the advice, but it's under "relationships and orientation."
  3. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    No, your advice is good.

    There's just SO many questions.
  4. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Well, I think I may have my answer. Not sure, but maybe.
  5. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    Just remember what I said... I know you want to KNOW... but don't RUSH it... it's OKAY to be unsure!! I know it can be frustrating... but it's OKAY! You are young enough that you don't NEED to BE anything immediately!! It would be okay to explore ALL avenues!

    As I said, I'll be here anytime if you want to talk! :hug:
  6. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Fuck it. I'm not gonna figure this out any time soon.

    Until I do, I'm just gonna stick it in whatever seems like a good idea at the time.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 28, 2009
  7. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    And yet...

    I think and I think.

    I think I like girls... But there's other stuff that interests me more...

    If anything I'd say I was bi. But it seems more gay than anything.

    I shouldn't focus on it but I can't help it.

    I'm not sure gay is something I want to be...
  8. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    Be whoever you are........and don't let labels overwhelm you.

    Just remember you never have to act on feelings if you don't want to. Thinking about guys in a sexual way doesn't make you gay.
  9. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    Unfortunately, if you ARE... and you repress it, you will always be miserable... so just see what happens... and take it one day at a time... it will be okay!!
    That being said... I agree with Bio... just thoughts could be ONLY curiosity... doesn't MEAN you're gay!

    :hug: Always here...
  10. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    That's part of the problem. I know labels shouldn't matter but in my little reality I have to know where everything stands definitively.

    I wouldn't have to act on those urges, and I could just stick to girls. But the more I ponder it the more I see that I'm not that attracted to girls. I don't want to live a lie.

    I wish I figured this all out right when I hit puberty.
  11. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    But you're STILL YOUNG!! Some guys don't figure it out until 20's, 30's, 40's, etc... so you still have PLENTY of time!! It will be okay!! :hug:
  12. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    Being gay is hard.......I know, but that doesn't make it bad.

    If you have strong feelings then perhaps you need to test them out and see where you really stand.
  13. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    Which is what I have said... either way, it's okay to experiment and see what FEELS good!
  14. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Both of Bri's and Bios posts are very well stated. I just want to add that my nephew told us at about 12 that he thought he was gay. His parents told him it was a "phase" and that he'd get over it. I don't think it was very good advice. He became more confused as he battled the feelings.

    Then at about 16, he told them he was gay and didn't want to hear any more about it from them. I can't believe he stood up for himself because he's quite shy and reserved. But he's almost 18 now, it's part of his facebook profile and he's o.k. with it.

    I just think it's a natural progression and when the time is right, you'll figure it out.
  15. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    I have tested it out a little, as in I've watched some stuff today to find out.

    I won't say I didn't like it, because that would not be true.

    I'm just confused because there are aspects of guys I like, but also a few things about girls I like.

    The things about girls I like had been enough to convince myself I was straight, but there is more about guys that I like.
  16. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    :laugh: I told my mom I wanted to be a girl at 5 and she laughed......then at 7 I shaved off my eye brows cause I wanted to be like this woman I saw on television......uggghhhhhhhh then at 12 my mom found gay porn in my room.

    You are exactly right that it's a progression, it's just some people realize it quicker then others.....while some don't accept it and it makes them depressed.
  17. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    Honestly... just watching 'porn' won't tell you for sure when you are already confused!! You won't really know for sure until you are actually IN a situation with someone... whether you really like it... so I know you want to KNOW... but just let it happen... it will BE OKAY!! :hug:
  18. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    For an oddball like me I'm not likely gonna run into many situations.

    There must be some easier and quicker way to tell?
    Last edited by a moderator: May 28, 2009
  19. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    You don't seem like an oddball to me... not in a bad way anyway!! ALL my friends are odd or weird in some way or other... that's what makes them THEM... what makes them AWESOME!! LIKE YOU!! :biggrin:

    As for finding out... it really is much more difficult when you have curiosities about both. For me, I always knew I liked guys... there was never a doubt! So I really don't know how to tell you to make a defined decision, especially 'rushed' like I know you want... it really will just HAPPEN! Sorry there isn't a magic instant knowledge all the time!! But you will KNOW!!
  20. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Honestly, I'm not even sure if I do like girls at all.

    Right around when I was maturing(11,12-ish) I had very intense fears of being gay. Enough so that I developed that phobia I told you of through pm, as well as hatred for gays that I have far since put behind me.

    I just now wonder if when having those fears I subconciously knew I was gay and thinking being gay was wrong I built up that fear into hate as defense.

    I mean, boobs don't do anything for me, and I have been in situations with those.

    I think it's beyond curiosity.