Today

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Mystic, Jul 18, 2010.

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  1. Mystic

    Mystic Well-Known Member

    Today I wanted out.

    I wanted an end to it.
    I wanted an end to being isolated, alone.
    I spent the whole weekend devising methods and coming up with 'what if' scenarios, because lets face it, I don't feel I am worth the effort and trouble of saving - not that there's anything worth saving in the first place.

    I went shopping to buy 'the means' and sat alone in my room with as much drink as I could forcibly pour down my throat, contemplating. I have only slept for about nine hours in the last three days, and those days have been a blur.

    I don't even want to talk about why I'm like this, mainly because there is nothing anyone can do. Right now, I feel sick. I have to go to work tomorrow and I'm going to be a mess and I have to force myself to go to bed. If this weekend was three days instead of two, I feel all my problems would be over with, except for when someone finds me and only then when the smell gets too bad.

    But thats me. Thats how I feel. I'm just an unwelcome passenger in this thing called 'life'.

    So what else is new?

    :cry:
     
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    You are welcomed here that is for sure!

    How are you doing? You may have signed off but I read your thread and you matter to me...

    :arms: Bambi
     
  3. UnkelHeit

    UnkelHeit Well-Known Member

    We don't know each other but you matter to me as well. I'm sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. At least it's a good sign that you were around to write that. I don't know what else to say but I care.
     
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Just wanted you to know that you matter to me too. :hug: I know you said you don't want to talk about it, but if you change your mind, I'm here.
     
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Mystic. I'm sorry to hear that you're suffering so much right now and that you're planning on how you're going to end it. Please don't go through with your suicide plans. You do matter and you are definitely worth saving, because you're a caring, loving human being. :hug:
     
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