:tongue: The only thing that Chancellor Alistair Darling has not taxed yet is the male penis. This is probably due to the fact that 69% of the time they are just hanging around unemployed, 10% of the time being hard up, 20% of the time being pissed off and 1% of the time being in a hole! On top of all that, the penis has two dependents and they're both nuts! HOWEVER ... effective from 1st April 2008, the penis will be taxed according to it's size. The Tax Brackets will be as follows: 10 to 12 inches - £300 Luxury Tax 08 to 10 inches - £250 Pole Tax 05 to 08 inches - £150 Privilege Tax 03 to 05 inches - £30 Nuisance Tax Penis's exceeding 12 inches must file Capital Gains Tax and anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a small tax refund. PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION It goes without saying that our illustrious Members of Parliament will be able to reclaim this tax against expenses, even those without the necessary equipment. In fact, female and gay MP's will be able to make multiple claims as they will have access to more than one penis. To prevent lesbian MP's from being left out or disadvantaged, they will also be eligible to claim on the grounds that they are rubbing shoulders with enough dickheads in The House of Commons all day to qualify. Immigrants will also be allowed to claim for the number of dicks they have to support in their home country.