Today's email

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by Terry, Mar 18, 2008.

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  1. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni


    The only thing that Chancellor Alistair Darling has not taxed yet is the male penis.
    This is probably due to the fact that 69% of the time they are just hanging around
    unemployed, 10% of the time being hard up, 20% of the time being pissed off and
    1% of the time being in a hole! On top of all that, the penis has two dependents
    and they're both nuts!

    HOWEVER ...

    effective from 1st April 2008, the penis will be taxed according to it's size.
    The Tax Brackets will be as follows:

    10 to 12 inches - £300 Luxury Tax

    08 to 10 inches - £250 Pole Tax

    05 to 08 inches - £150 Privilege Tax

    03 to 05 inches - £30 Nuisance Tax

    Penis's exceeding 12 inches must file Capital Gains Tax and anyone under
    4 inches is eligible for a small tax refund.


    It goes without saying that our illustrious Members of Parliament will be able to reclaim this tax
    against expenses, even those without the necessary equipment. In fact, female and gay MP's will
    be able to make multiple claims as they will have access to more than one penis. To prevent lesbian
    MP's from being left out or disadvantaged, they will also be eligible to claim on the grounds that
    they are rubbing shoulders with enough dickheads in The House of Commons all day to qualify. Immigrants will also be allowed
    to claim for the number of dicks they have to support in their home country.
  2. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

  3. Surviving

    Surviving Well-Known Member



  4. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

  6. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

  7. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    3 years later whats the inflation rate ?:rofl:
  8. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    Finally, something i don't have to pay tax on. :unsure:
  9. AxiomUltimatum

    AxiomUltimatum Well-Known Member

    Just pure gold Terry :rofl:
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