Today's suicidal update

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by WannaEndit01, Oct 4, 2016.

  1. WannaEndit01

    WannaEndit01 Well-Known Member

    Working at home today which is always more dangerous. I get lonely real quick, etc. I have an on-line debug session which helps a lot.

    Fighting off my "if only" and "could have been thoughts" is especially hard when working at home. At my worse I would lie catotonicly in bed spiraling deeply in the above thoughts. Unable to get out of bed. In order to have a chance at a life going forward I need to extinguish those thoughts.

    Today I am going to try and go sculling. It's scary, because the last thing I need is be stuck out on a scull in a depressive plunge.

    Anyway the days has started, here goes . . . .
     
  2. twinklil

    twinklil Well-Known Member

    Dear WannaEndit01,
    I'm wondering how you are doing with fighting of your if only and could have been thoughts. Have you found something to distract you from these. Have you been successful in extinguishing those thoughts. I'm not familiar with going sculling - what is that? Is it something you can do with a friend perhaps. When your working at home can you try to break up the day a bit like program in some mental health breaks - come in here perhaps for a half hour to talk to us here and then return to your work again knowing that at least someone cares to lend an ear or an avenue for you to write out your thoughts. Wondering how you are doing now. Please keep posting and talking to us here.
     
  3. WannaEndit01

    WannaEndit01 Well-Known Member

    I am doing good at fighting off the thoughts. It's still a daily battle, just not as often. I have found somethings to distract/involve me: I have more work at work, my own company (we're trying to get funding) has taken up a time working on a Business Plan (and offered hope), and I am more involved with the doing stuff on the weekends with friends when possible and/or just my wife.

    Sculling is rowing on a thin boat.
    https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51OJNPPdQRL._AC_UL320_SR214,320_.jpg

    Stopping by here during the day is a great idea.

    How am I doing now? I am only slightly depressed now and then during the day. I am more involved with my life, and I am continuing to try and make it better.

    Thank you for asking. I gotta to go catch the train, I working in the office today. Bye :)