Working at home today which is always more dangerous. I get lonely real quick, etc. I have an on-line debug session which helps a lot. Fighting off my "if only" and "could have been thoughts" is especially hard when working at home. At my worse I would lie catotonicly in bed spiraling deeply in the above thoughts. Unable to get out of bed. In order to have a chance at a life going forward I need to extinguish those thoughts. Today I am going to try and go sculling. It's scary, because the last thing I need is be stuck out on a scull in a depressive plunge. Anyway the days has started, here goes . . . .