Todo Sobre Mi Madre.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Sa Palomera, Jan 24, 2010.

  1. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    I thought about posting this in the Love & Lost section, but I felt like it would suit better here, not sure why.

    I've been missing mum a lot lately, but I've been trying not to talk to anyone about it because.. Well I don't have that many people to talk to about her.

    I haven't been a good friend over the last 2 months, far from it. I've been behaving ridiculous at parties, making a total fool of myself when drunk. And oh have I been drunk at parties. I may have been drinking less often.. Like, I haven't been drinking at home anymore at ALL, but gosh, I've definitely been making up for that at parties. I've been a disgrace!
    Also I've been feeling sorry for myself too much.
    My best friend basically dumped me saying she won't be friends until I get my act together. And she said I need to just get over my whole "mama's dead" issue. She's dead. Won't come back. She's been gone for 22 years, one should be over that by now.

    Then why am I not? I dont know HOW to 'get over it'. I don't know HOW to give it a place.
    I know I've idealised her in my mind, because I've never known her I've created this image of a perfect mother in my mind, when I'm sure she wouldn't have been the perfect mom. Nobody is.

    I just miss her and want her here. And I have nobody to talk to about her. I feel lonely. So fucking lonely. =(
  2. homelessmk

    homelessmk Active Member

    i'm sorry you're hurting :( but i honestly have to say, i don't think you're ever going to completely get over the loss of your mother. but, as cliche as this sounds, you shouldn't let it run your life either. yes, keep her memory alive and keep thinking of her, but you have to go on living a normal life. i'm sorry your life feels like it's spinning out of control, and i wish your best friend would have stuck with you. i'm always here for support, you can pm me anytime you want. (((((((clogwoman))))))