I told my husband that I am going to commit suicide. I told him he would be much better off. My insurance, pension, and lack of by medical bills will be a tremendous help for him. He of course told me not to talk about it, but I really feel at peace with the idea of ending it all. I won't do it until after Christmas because I have a lot of obligations at work. I will miss my grandchildren and family greatly, but have planned everything to look accidental. I have planned how, when, and know why. It is strangely comforting. Now I can go ahead in peace and not think about the what ifs in my life. I have been doing ECT for awhile and it has help A LOT. But life just keeps one step ahead of me. I am too tired to try to keep up anymore. My only problem........do I leave a note? I would leave the note hidden in my drawer so they will be no question that my death was accidental until they found it much later. Or do I leave it as it is.......... Frankly, I feel that if I give enough hints so to speak, if my family does suspect they will understand that I was just sick and tired and needed this break. Thank you for your input........and remember this is whether I should leave a note, NOT if I should commit suicide. That decision has been made:-(.