i have tried to make things work but i don't know whats next. tried to make a life out of nothing, somewhere for me to go forward from and be in a postion to still maintain some semblance of normality for my kids. to everyone else i am doing ok, have a good job, nice house, a car, and food on the table. in fact my job is going, struggling to make rent every month, car needs money spent on it and my cupboards are bare. i owe 27k plus my bank account is in the red, no money to support myself and i have xmas and my girls birthday soon and i can't even afford a present. there is no one i can turn to, i am alone in this hell and no matter what i do or try, no matter how much i convince myself that things will be better tomorrow, it never is. how can a life turn round so much and become empty so easily, how could i fuck my life up so much . i am drowning in a sea of misery and getting too tired to swim to shore. will things be better tonmorrow?