Ace, Im just new here and found my way here tonight cause Im feeling much same as you, I have bi-polar and its awful right now..A few weeks ago I tried killing myself(again) and wakend up with relatives in my face and thye still in my face..I try to work stuff out in little bits...Although tonight is a big deal cause my nine year old has a friend staying so I cant do anything when they are here..
Are you alone ? Would it help if you said ;;;In next 15mins Im going to make a final cup of tea and write down my immediate thoughts..This often makes me cry so much it distracts me from actual harm, then another few things till you could get to bed?