Tonight is the night

Hello all, I am new here and it seems a sad opening by starting my first thread with thoughts of taking my own life, However i am planning to end my life in the early hours of thursday effectively tonight here in the UK.
I have serious problems involving police, Marriage break up, Job loss etc etc, I joined here today as i feel i have no one else to discuss my thoughts and feelings not to mention my forthcoming suicide, I can hardly write all this as i am so shaky and upset. For the record i am a 50 year old guy and i have already made 2 attemts recently the first time i took < Mod Edit - Methods > but woke up fine, The second time i < Mod Edit - Methods > and was found the next morning by the room maid at the b&b i stayed at, She called an ambulance and i was taken to hospital where despite my rantings of please leave alone to die they force fed me a drip for almost 26hours, So here i am 3 weeks later, Nothing has changed and in fact its much worse. I have noiw upped the anti < Mod Edit - Methods > I have told no one else of my intentions today except you guys. Its nice to be able to speak out somewhere and say what you feel. Anyway thanks for reading this its now 09:4o so i will pop back later and see if anyone has decided to say hello.

 

Hi ya

Welcome to SF, I am glad you found us.

If you need any help or want someone to talk to let me know.

Ebbie

 

Hey hun :]]

Welcome to SF. Maybe you should stay awhile before taking your life.

We're all here if you need to talk.

Hope to see you about again soon. Hold on luv :hug:

But if it's really what you want then... good luck I guess.

Here if you wanna talk sometimes ok? Anytime.

Take care and keep strong,
Tigga
x

 

Thanks for the welcomes tigga and ebbie, Its very kind of you to respond. Tigga i know its a shame i didnt find this place sooner but there ya go. Thats Life!. Anyway i am going to make the most of today and pop in from time to time, Try and keep a lifeline for a few hours i have to make some last preperations so i will pop in and out but i really cant stand this miserable way of life any longer i have suffered on a daily basis for about 5 weeks now and it just dont get any better and from what i see its not likely too either. I can tell you thet i am scared and extremely lonely. I am constantly crying like a big wuss and shaking like a leaf constatntly probably fear i suppose. But hey like i said thanks again for saying hello i will be back later. Its nice to know you are there.

x
Paul :sad:

 

Hi there Paul,
just want to say hi, to let u know that i'm here listening to your story.
if u have made up ur mind firmly, there's nothing we can do to change ur stand point; make the most out of ur every breath..
send u my care & concern :sad:

 

Hey. Maybe it's hypocritical of me to say there are other ways, but maybe there are. If not, enjoy your last day, do exactly what you want, and make it the best fucking day you can.

Maybe you should think twice about paracetemol though...

 

Hi Paul and welcome to SF. Five weeks of suffering this far brought you on h4ere to meet us, there must be a reason after all what do you think?

As for the shaking and crying the reason is simple..... normal reaction of the body to depression. I know it sounds superficial to some unaware of the outcome of depression but all of your woes have a single bottom line name.. depression and it can be easily helped if you decide to.

I am older than you and suffer both depression and chronic terminal illness so a tad of mental and physical issues I 've learned over time. Should you feel like talkting, you can do so either here publically or privately using the private messaging as you best see fit.

Do not rush into somehting you might regret tomorrow hun. Anyway, death is definitive so why not postpone it a few days? It will not run away and meanwhile we can get to know each other a little.

granny :hug:

 

Thank you granny.
So nice to hear from you and thanks for the kindness something unforseen has now gone wrong ie: someone has turned up unexpectedly therefore i have now postponed the whole thing till tomorrow, However i feel it gives me at least one more day to talk to you guys at least and as you say get to know you all a little.

Paul

 

Thank you 2cents forgot to mention you, Take care.

 

hi there, i'm sure most of the ppl here know how your feeling emotionally or they wouldnt be here but the reason were all here and nto on the other side of the dirt is becasue theres something keeping us here, there must be something that will wnat you to stay with us you may just have to find what it is.